Beautiful Bawdy Japan

AM

Least: At about 7:10am I woke with a chicken organs and beer-related headache, and a sense that someone was walking on the roof of our building. The roof of this building is great, but only if I'm the person using it. The hour of the day, meant asking myself too many questions, all starting with 'why'. At about 7:12am I re-slept face-down and woke at 9:32am with the same aching head, but this time with numb mitteny hands. The yoga class on the searing roof had been going an hour. I watched a TV show about the manufacture of two types of hot-water-bottle.

Most: As I walked to the station at about 11:48am, I looked into the poodle-stylist to find him hard at work as usual. On most days at least two dogs are standing on his benches getting trimmed and styled with four or five more waiting in cages. The local dogs are hyper-pampered (above) and can be seen in bike baskets or peering though the designer bag of a Tezukayama Queen. The barber must be making a killing.

PM

Least: By ABOUT 3:00pm, Rosie and I had been wheeling around Namba Parks for 30 minutes looking for a craft shop. The craft shop turned out to for sewing fans and phone decorators only. During our journey we passed so many shops selling useless beauty products, bland homewares, and busy clothes, that it was easy to get lost. The shop-girls looked forlorn as they hoped for customers but at least they weren't screeching for their survival like their kin in Shinsaibashi.

Most: Close to 3:30pm, Rosie and I decided to have a look in an otaku-ish shop in Namba City. It had the usual capsule machines and thousands of models, figurines and toys from every conceivable TV show or science fiction movie. Some of the figurines though, were of weirdly proportioned women in various states of undress. I'm still wondering the purpose of those models with pubic hair, or those showing women in bondage positions. There's no accounting for taste - and Japan seems to be a particularly bawdy country.

Just when you thought you spoke English

AM
Least: At 10:18am, I poked my nose through my kitchen window to get a whiff of the weather. The air was as hot as the gas-fired kitchen. Worse, though was the sour smell of decomposing pigeon guano that has piled up between Sanshou and next door. I'm sure that a bird-lover next door is aiding and abetting the local pigeon gangs with crumbs or some such. The scourge is such the we, like thousands of others need netting to defend our balcony against these depraved rats of the sky.

Most: At exactly 11:00am, my phone told me that I had 30 minutes left on my phone card. I spoke to Ceridwen for a whiles and mused about the oddities of Japan. We discussed important birthdays approaching and the growing clutch of babies that are beginning to populate our lives. The conversation reminded me of how hard it is to speak freely in Japan - it's very easy to get the wrong end of the stick - and that's only speaking to Canadians. Just when I think I'm speaking fluent English, my 'space' becomes 'spice' and my 'cram' becomes 'crime' - context, context, context. Perhaps interesting proof that Orstraylians are an outward looking people.

PM

Least: By 1:50pm it was becoming clear that I was about to miss out on the end of another classic war movie - Where Eagles Dare. Working in the afternoons has the effect of obliterating my motivation to do anything substantial in the mornings. I usually wake at 9:00am, eat at 9:30am then eat again just after noon. By the time that the glow of the midday meal wears of, I am usually sweating in my suit-pants, and the movie is not yet over.

Most: Just before 2:40pm, I walked into work to find that all the staff were wearing surgical masks. There was an unintelligible sign at the door explaining that a staff member had fallen ill with the New Influenza. Several disinfecting dispensers of alcoholic gel were scattered around the office. During the one week of swine flu panic last time, I often found myself the only person in a room or carriage without a mask. Some people in Japan seem to wear masks to stop getting the flu, to stop spreading the flu and to stop allergies - these people probably have little time left to travel mask-free. How long does it take to incubate?

The Shouting Van

AM

Least: Not long before 9:00am, I was dragged from my slumber by a the racket of a bespeakered van on the road below. While I cannot be sure of the shouting topic, I imagine that it was begging for unwanted electrical goods. Another shouting van asks for newspapers - I recognise this one because the volume is far lower and less cutting. Election time is going to be a shocker! The noisiest country in the world?

Most: Between about 10:20am and 10:45am, I had a hilarious time sifting through the readers' comments from the Courier Mail for my other blog. The level of hysteria, bitterness, conservatism, fear, paranoia, misinformation, barrow pedalling and thinly veiled racism is incredible. The poor spelling is another story altogether. The best comments always hang beneath stories on taxation, multicululturalism, law n order, global warming and the State government. Any comments that are thoughtful or show common sense are howled down. Comedy gold!

PM

Least: By about 3:00pm I was once again slightly lost on my way to the Hankyu-32 building in Umeda. I have never been able to get there by the same route twice. I repeated my circuitous route upon my return home.

Most: Just after 9:30pm, I reached the ground floor of the before-mentioned Hankyu-32 building in Umeda. After some tooing and froing I finally rediscovered the Midsuji subway station. The platform was filled with sweating, red-faced Tigers fans. The crushing train ride briefly quelled the flow of sweat down my chins. By the time I traipsed up to the Nankai platform in Namba, the salty flow had returned. On the train, a big 'n tall man drenched in sweat yawned into his fan. During the walk home, I saw that people had been watering the road again, and that the poodle stylist was still cutting and grooming. I arrived home to a cooked meal at approximately 10:18pm.

Midway to Gundam

AM

Least: Thinking it was Thursday, I was mentally preparing to take the 'bottles and cans' downstairs at about 10:25am. I was crestfallen when I discovered what I already knew - that it was still Tuesday. When each day is characterised by strict timetables, it seems very easy to forget what day or week it is.

Most: I woke this morning to my vibrating phone at 9:32am. Thankfully it was just the alarm. Even more thankfully, was that I had apparently slept through the hottest part of the day. According to the hourly weather forcast, it was to be a sweet 29C at 9am then dipping below 27C from there. There is a 100% chance of rain today.

PM

Least: Standing for numerous minutes in a queue at the UFJ ATM at about 12:10pm today, it dawned on me that Japenese ATMs are far too useful. Often, a person will insert and withdraw numerous pieces of paper and currency, apparently to pay bills or squirrel away their 1yen coin collection. This can take many many minutes. The least interesting minutes of any day.

Most: Between about 1:20pm and 3:00pm then 10:25pm and 11:00pm, I sat and watched two swathes of quality TV. The first was the movie 'Midway'and the second was a Gundam episode. Both involved war and romance, both involved naval-esque strategy and both involved fighter pilot heroes and clumsy commanders. I began to wonder if Japanese cartoons served to relive and rewrite Japanese military history. I don't have any idea, but it's an interesting thought.

Pokemon vs Cicada

AM

Least: By about 9:30am I was awake enough to sit through some kids anime on TV. They were slightly entertaining, but for the simply awful voices screeching from most of the characters. It brought to mind the discomfort of hearing the shop-girls in Shinsaibashi spruiking for customers. Painful.

Most: Just after 11:20am, Rosie and I went for a walk around the lake. The paths were drenched after last night's storm and, as usual, council workers were tinkering with something - this time paths and drains. The interesting thing though, was the deafening sound of thousands of cicadas screaming almost in unison. Despite a few kids and their grandfathers collecting specimens to take home, the insects were victorious in dominating the park. They sounded like a giant dial-up modem - I wondered who they were calling.

PM

Least: By 9:35pm I had spent nearly six hours doing 40 minutes of work. I spoke to yet another, otherwise lovely student who suffered from the deficit of enjoying Disney characters too much. She had a penchant for Donald and Minnie combined with overseas travel. Her favourite memory was her stay at the 101 Dalmatians Hotel in Orlando (pictured right).

Most: At approximately 10:05pm, I took a turn away from my usual route home from Tezukayama station to pop in to the Family Mart. The dark road that took me there was littered with massive and sprawling mansions. The most impressive were the Japanese-style houses, surrounded by gardens and hedges. The bigger the house, the more barbed wire and spikes surrounded it. Japan appears to be a safe place, but people are still paranoid about crime.

Notes from the Bottom Drawer

AM

Least: At about 9:50am after another restles sleep. Waking in baking heat comes less that an hour of turning off the airconditioner. This cycle continues ad nauseam until the sun rises at some incredibly early hour. Luckily, complaining about the humid horrors of summer is a sport for Osakans.

Most: At about 10:50am, still reeling from the pizza from last night, I poured a digestion-related sachet of Rosie's medicine into my gullet. Although it looked and tasted like chalk, the Biofermin-R turned out to be a storm of 'good' bacteria. I was unable to find out whether there is any medical benefit of danger from the preparation. Fingers crossed.

PM

Least: Today, the Kansai Time Out told us to go into town and visit the Minatomachi River Place Flea Market. Luckily it was free to enter, because the market was also free of anything of interest. Instead, there were several mats partially filled with worn-out, bottom-of-the-drawer clothes, some boring jewellery and some wooden giraffes. Rosie cut a lonely figure as she climbed the baking steps to escape at about 1:50pm.

Most: Close to 2:10pm, we stumbled across a new Junkudo close to Namba Hatch. The shop was massive, and had generous English section and an even more generous discount English section. Luckily the books that I needed were all 70% off. I bought DBC Pierre's Vernon God Little, Dostoyevsky's Notes from Underground, Conrad's Nostromo and a couple of gifts for a couple of babies. I got a bonus cheesecake for my custom - Rosie got four.


FOODNOTE

Lowlight: Chilled udon and curry at a restraunt in Namba City. Menu choice, menu choice, menu choice.

Never Watch TV While Poaching Eggs

AM

Least: Between precisely 9:40am and 9:52am and 10:14am and 10:34am I roasted on train platforms in Mikunigaoka and Hineno repectively. It was punishment for taking a slightly later train from Tezukayama. The ten extra minutes at home this morning was repaid three-fold by JR. As the sweat ran down my chins, I couldn't help but notice the condensed breath and sweat of luckier and cooler commuters pouring from the corner of each carriage as it flashed by the station. Another lesson.

Most: While I waited for my eggs to poach at around 8:30am, I watched an animated TV show that, as usual, involved massive monsters in combat. The interesting thing though, was the fact that the trading cards carried by every kid in Japan were built into the story. The cards were used as a means to pitch differently rated piles of steel against each other. I was thinking that this is what kids might imagine whilst doing battle for cards in the playground - cool. The poached eggs were ever so slightly over done.

PM

Least: Between 12:00pm and about 8:00pm my stomach was granted a lone onigiri, a few sugarless breathmints, a bite of weird cake and two kinds of mineral water. As soon as I arrived home, my brain told me to order a large american style pizza with a regular crust. According to the pizza-clock, I ate until 10:50pm - two slices left. Before I finished the second slice, I could feel something of a bile-rush in my stomach. After I finished the last slice of the evening, I knew I wouldn't sleep well. I didn't.

Most: Between about 8:40pm and 10ish deciding to shirk a school releated party in Sakaihigashi, I sat down for a night in to contunue my spaghetti western voyage. While the bile working overtime on the pizza, I sat for a couple of hours to watch 'A Fist Full of Dollars'. The massive body count and the cracking dialogue were just interesting enough for my brain to forget telling me that I'd eaten too much on an empty stomach.

Feeding an Aching Head

AM

Least: This morning at about 8:20am I awoke from an apparently fitful sleep with an unfair headache delivered to me by a few glasses of white wine. If I had to go to work in this condition I might be considered a hard worker.

Most: Between about 10:20am and 10:40am I read a long piece in the LRB on the letters of Marcus Aurelius. What made the reading interesting was the fact that 80 of his letters were discovered in the early 19th Century hiding on reused parchments from the First Church Council in the AD451. The article reminded me that the process of collating and interpreting text puts a great distance between what we read and the author's original intention. Good brain food.

PM

Least: At about 1:50pm I rolled to the Kohyo supermarket in search of quality coffee only to find the shelves of overpriced Lavazza empty. I was forced to experiment with a tin of UCC Original Blend. The experiment was a partial success. It's minerally flavour and corporate logo recalled my visit to the UCC shrine up in Koya San (right).

Most: Soon after 5:30pm, Rosie and I began riding our bikes toward Daikokucho and a meeting with friends for a meal. On the way we stumbled across some kinda summer festival in Tamade. Apart from the important cultural rituals were stall after stall of kids games, goldfish, chickens, tortoises, booze and yakitori. A few people were really drunk and a few people won insignificant toys by shooting airguns. It was relaxing to mingle with other people relaxing. Our meal was great but we missed Birushanah.

July 23 2009

AM

Least: At about 8:15am I awoke with a distinct feeling of dehydration, a headache and a raging thirst. The day before I had eaten two suspicious foods - an onigiri and a spicy chicken rectangle from the Family Mart. At least one of these is ultimately to blame for my stomach upset and subsequent dryness.

Most: At 11:20am, Rosie and I began watching Revolutionary Road. It was fairly faithful to the book and well cast. The movie had less of the tension of the book and all of it's misery. Not a very interesting movie but, the most interesting part of my morning.

PM

Least: Between 8:00pm and 8:40pm I spoke to a guy who worked in the screens and filters industry. His company made screens and netting for industrial conveyor belts. His company had a massive drop in profits this year as the car parts industry lurched into catastrophe. Boring and depressing.

Most: Upon arriving home at about 9:30pm, I cooked a garlicky and basily pasta dish to go with the wedge of parmesan and the bottle of Italian wine in the fridge. The basil was from Rosie's balcony garden. The wine went straight to my head as we sat down to eat and to watch the spaghetti western, 'For A Few Dollars More'. The wine took me to bed with 20 minutes of the movie to go. I foresee that those 20minutes will become the most interesting events of my am tomorrow.

The Queue for the Tram

AM

Least: At approximately 8:20am was woken by the terrifying sound of my phone ringing. When my phone rings during the AM period it can only be work calling. I was summoned to work in Gakken-Nara-Tomigaoka for the day. I made it just in time.

Most: At 11:06am the sky darkened slightly during a solar eclipse. I took my adult students outside to see the spectacle but was slightly disappointed by the thickish covering of clouds. My colleague's brother had travelled to some island down south to see the event. He was rained out.

PM

Least: Close to 5:30pm I arrived at the Hankai Tram line to discover a tram waiting but also a long and inexplicable queue. My thoughts about the queue were first taken to a full tram or some kind of fault. Neither turned out to be the case. The twenty or so people lining up simply didn't want the discomfort of standing up on the tram. Enraged, I learnt a lesson and missed my tram.

Most: Between 2:55pm and 3:35pm I spoke to a lowish level English learner about her hobby. She was a fanatical Placido Domingo follower. In fact, she spend much of her time flying to all parts of the globe to be close to the great man. Her next trip will involve a chartered jet that will take her and about twenty others to Beijing. They will stay at the same hotel as Domingo and haunt him in the lobby.

1,034,515

AM

Least: At about 10:50am I skulked down to the road to find that our bag of 'plastics' was still sitting there. I knew it had a yellow sticker on it, and I knew that I didn't know exactly what it said, but I had hoped that someone would decide that the offending bag was their problem and taken it away. Deep down, I think it was a laundry-related item that prevented the bag's departure, and deeper down I know I dragged the bag back upstairs.

Most: At about 11:15am during my excursion to the Family Mart and the Drug 11 I saw a youngish helmetless mother riding her bike with one helmetless kid in the back and a helmetlessbaby slung upon her chest. Her brakes screeched as as stopped. The vast majority of people never wear helmets while cycling in Japan. I've always wondered what the road toll stats are - they couldn't be pretty. And they aren't - 1,034,515 accidents and 5,743 deaths in 2007 (the lowest in 50 odd years) I carried my bag of plastics back upstairs.

PM

Least: Just after 4:00pm, I was teaching a class of 3-4year olds and one mother couldn't think of a more interesting way to redirect her child than to give him a smack. None of the other mothers blinked.

Most: Some time after 1:25pm, I became embroiled in one of Rosie's online arguments about the thoughts of Karl Marx. Some academic was boringly complaining that 'the people' have been too silent against the horrors of late-capitalism. I suggested that it was because most workers might be too comfortable to overthrow the capitalist system and the their (our) comfort was possible because of low wages in the developing world. Rosie threw that into the pot. I'm still unsure as to whether or not is was an interesting idea.

Thunder and Lightning

AM

Least: I dreamt that I was team teaching and the lesson was crashing and burning. I probably need a few more ECC free days.

Most: In the first hours of today lightning and thunder assaulted our eyes and ears. The storm seemed to be centred down at Sakai, although a few claps were very close. I stood on the balcony as it began and managed to get some photos. Some of the explosions were so bright I swear I could see the bones in my hand. Interesting!

PM

Least: At about 12:20pm I went to the local supermarket and bought some hum drum groceries. I still haven't worked out what the checkout chick was saying to me. I could only find 'Pasco 6' bread - too thick. The groceries came to about 1700yen.

Most: Between 8:25pm and about 10:45pm we met a friend of Rosie's and her brother at an 8th floor Mexican Restaurant. The food and the company were excellent. I ordered a Mango Margarita (pictured right) and got more than I bargained for. As the minutes past 10:30pm the staff began to look at their watches. We granted their wish and left.

Harry Potter and the Something of Fire

AM

Least: At about 9:25am I awoke to discover that it was Sunday. Sunday is a day when none of the several types of rubbish are collected. By Sunday, we usually have three bags of rubbish lying in our kitchen.

Most: Close to 12:00pm, I was woken from my doze by the clanging and drumming of a procession passing beneath my window. Several trucks loaded with colourfully-cloth'd characters drove by at irregular intervals, probably on their way to some kind of summer festival. I managed to get a bird's-eye photo (above) through our pigeon-proof netting.

PM

Least: Planning to see a movie in a cool cool cinema we arrived at about 1:pm to find that the most interesting selection was Harry Potter and the Something of Fire - we weren't interested.

Most: At about 1:20pm Rosie and I decided to take a turn away from the teeming arcade near Dotonbori to find a bite. We settled on a little okonomiyaki joint in an alleyway. What made it great was the character greeting us from out the front (right) and the fact that the cooks made the food for us in front of our eyes then served it on a sizzling skillet. I ordered the modernyaki with squid and pork. They listened to Rosie's request for okonomiyaki sans meat. We'll go back if we can find it again!

The Science of Yakitori

AM

Least: This morning between 9:02am and 9:11am I stood sweating on the platform at Tezukayama station. The brief breezes of the Limited Express, the Sub-Express and the Semi-Express passing me by gave little relief.

Most: Between 10:02am and 10:31am between Hineno and Wakayama, my train hurled through greener than green rice paddies and run down onion sheds. I finally got stuck into Franz's The Corrections and decided that it's going to be a great read. Academics making fun of academics is fun.

PM

Least: Between 4:05pm and 4:25pm I lurked outside Wakayama station handing out tissues for a leading English language school. What drained my interest in those stinking hot 20 minutes was the predictable sight of clean-cut Mormons chatting to 14-year old schoolgirls. I wonder if they told them about Joseph Smith Jr. getting messages about Zion in Missouri or the benefits of bigamy?

Most: Between about 7:20pm and 8:45pm, Rosie and I ate at one of our local yakitori restaurants. The 'chef's 10' were delicious and the sashimi as smooth as silk. Showing some crazy bravado, I pointed to something on the menu and accidentally ordered a baked potato drenched in butter. I'm still not certain as whether it was a canny victory or a powdery loss. Tonight we also discovered that whale was on the menu!

AM

Least: After sleeping in until about 10:20am I rose from my zombie-like repose, took the combustibles down to the road, discussed pizzas in the stairwell, then channel-surfed for less than a minute. Like every other morning, the television was appalling - one program was showing mothers how to artistically present hotdog savs. I've often thought the the most 'Japanese' dish that you could buy would include SPAM or hotdog savs -perhaps in sushi form! I burnt my toast.

Most: Between 11:15am and 11:39am, I listened to Earworms Rapid Japanese hoping to pick up some lingo to use on my trip to buy laundry powder. ERJ is Japanese language practice set to extra-bland music. With no Japanese I feel like Hello Kitty with no mouth! I've begun to make meaning of the daily office chatter but that may just take away the dreamlike feeling of sitting in a bubble of j-static where all I can do is think my own thoughts.

PM

Least: Some time after midday, I rode through the rain to Life supermarket. On the shelved were tens of giftpacks. The least interesting giftpack was one that included two jumbo sized boxes of laundry powder, two bottles of dishwashing liquid and a surface spray. In Japan, one for the ladies, in Australia, one for he who wants a black eye.



Most: Between about 3:00pm and 6:00pm, Rosie and I sat down to watch The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Clint was excellent, only outshone by the incredible sets and battle action. Cool.

General Hospital

大きな地図で見る

AM

Least: By 9:00am I was beginning to think about drycleaning. Like many businesses in Osaka it doesn't open 'till 10:00am. I just wish they could all open and close an hour earlier. Drycleaning isn't in the least bit interesting - unless you ask the local cadres of the Laundry and Dry Cleaning Club.

Most: At approximately 5.40am I rode with Rosie over to the local hospital (see above) Her 'upset stomach', apparently caused by yoghurt had got no better since the same time yesterday. The emergency ward was as grimy as those in Australia but without the drunken maniacs trying to tear the place apart. The nurse was helpful and the Doc racked his brains for a solution. We left the hospital with three paper bags full of medication, including some sachets of white powder with unknown powers. Interesting!

PM

Least: Between 2.45pm and 8.45pm I worked with little more than a few swigs of mineral water to keep me going. My hunger turned every second into an hour. I just hope the tatami-sized pizza that I just inhaled treats me well in tomorrow's am.

Most: By 12:00pm, Rosie was beginning to recover from her malady. The strange medicines appeared to be working and the chalky sachet hit it's mark. I cooked Rosie a bland lunch then had a nap, interrupted only by the alarm clock. Methinks the world owes me about 11hrs sleep.

Sunny Tezukayama

AM

Least: I was up at five-ish this morning helping an ill Rosie when I succumbed to the temptation to begin reading the Readers' Comments in the various News Limited papers. As always global warming brought out all of the paranoid types and their boring explanations of why climate change is a sham. As Scott of New Zealand wrote at 4:08pm "This is embarrassing for Australia".

Most: At about 6:25am I left the Sanshou Mansion to visit a nearby drinks machine. The morning was warm and crystal clear with a view of the surrounding moutains. The sky was blue with a sprinkle of high cloud - beautiful.

PM

Least: At 2.16pm I discovered that my ICOCA card had suffered from some internal catastrophe rendering it useless. Instead of spending my commute smugly sailing through the stiles, I could be found standing at machines fumbling for change and buying paper tickets. There is also 750yen hidden somewhere on that card.

Most: At about 12:35pm while shopping at the overpriced but good Kohyo supermarket I couldn't help but notice the nice little range of whale products that have appeared this week. Various bacons, blubbers and a delicious looking fillet basked quietly in the sashimi section. It wasn't that expensive either.

Starlings, Pigeons and Microwaved Karage

AM

Least: At about 9.25am I was bored enough to scan the TV channels for anything entertaining. Needless to say it was all variety-driven drivel with the additional insult of an ER episode. Stinker.

Most: During my walk around the park the heat had driven the starlings and pigeons to hide under trees. The turtles stayed under water and the fittest old man in the world was doing chinups on the monkey bars. A minor highlight in a boring morning!

PM

Least: At 9:48 I realised that the train carriage that I travel on each Tuesday has exactly the same people on it every week. There was a schoolgirl wearing a T-Shirt with the American flag and the slogan 'fuckheadistan' shouting across it. Maybe that was last week.

Most: At about 10:25pm I strolled up the the Family Mart to buy a meal instead of going to the Hazard Shot Bar as planned. I walked home with some hot potato chips, karage and some soba noodles. What a miracle for such a little shop to provide such heartburning bounty. My friend behind the counter was probably speaking to me about kangaroos and the fact it was winter in Australia. What special times we live in!

Hot Heat Heating Heater Hottest

AM

Least: By 9:39am I found myself groaning audibly about the kerfuffle surrounding the JJJ Hottest 100 ever. The results highlighted two things. #1: People are pretty boring. #2 JJJ is a real sausage party. On the bright side -The Courier Mail of Brisbane has the most entertaining readers' comments ever!

Most: By 11:05am the heat outside was becoming blistering. Walking around the park I noticed that even the pigeons looked ready to die. The fittest old man in the world had stopped doing his situps.


PM
Least: Between 5:30pm and 6:10pm I had absolutely nothing to do. I looked at a wall in the lobby covered in notices. Even if I could've made out the words from where I was sitting I still wouldn't have found any satisfaction - it was all in Japanese. I really need to get on with learning some.

Most: I arrived home at approximately 10:05pm to a delicious Hot and Sour Mushroom Soup cooked by Rosie herself! To add to my interest, she had brought home a swag of expensive biscuits given to her by the wealthy parents of her students.

The Sky Building

AM

Least: At 11:25am, I foolishly got onto the wrong JR train at Shinimamiya and ended up in the weird surrounds of OCAT. Boring except for the youths practicing their break dancing moves.

Most: At 9.30ish I sat down to some excellent poached eggs on some admirable toast. I read Rosie the first two pages of Jonathan Franzen's 'The Corrections' - pretentious pomo drivel - I kept thinking of Nick's song 'We Call Upon the Author to Explain'- but - a page later it miraculously improved - it may just be good - Oprah liked it.

PM
Least: At about 3.10pm I walked into the HEP building in Umeda to be confronted with massive crowds looking for bargains. I quickly forgot the reason I went there in the first place - I think I was looking for an icecream.

Most: By about 2.00pm I was rocketing up the Umeda Sky Building to take a squizz at the observatory. A great view only besmirched by weird hiphop emanating from the walls and a smog cocktail of various fumes that smelled like burning plastic. Most fascinating though was the 'love lock' and the chapel for white weddings - who said Japan can't make good cheese?

Empathy vs Sympathy

AM

Least: I stepped onto the JR Rapid to Hineno to find that precisely every second seat was taken up by someone's bag. There were people standing with only half the seats filled. Whats wrong with people? Half of the people are too rude to want to sit next to another human being and the other half are too polite to take a seat!

Most: While hurtling down to Wakayama I thumbed the pages of Paul Auster's Oracle Night. I was gripped by the prospects the story offered. How would Bowen get out of his booky tomb? Who robbed Sid n Grace? What the hell was Mr. Chang up to? Some lustre in a lacklustre morning.

PM

Least: Sometime between 5.30 and 6.15 I finished Oracle Night after a 4 or 5 day stint. I was disappointed to find that very few of the questions I had at 10.00am were satifactorily resolved. A real let down - the review in the link is spot on - a bad bood by a good author.

Most: Between 12.15 and 12:55 I was with a student who wanted to know about the etymology of the words emapathy and sympathy. Why couldn't impathy be a word? As it turns out the work emapthy was created not long after the turn of last century after a translation of the German 'Einfuhlung'. The word Empathize was coined around 1924 to assist with a theory of art appreciation.

AM

Least: At approximately 10:35am I awoke to find that the German riesling that improved my evening had removed its delicious cloak and had delivered me a mild hangover.

Most: At 11:18am I read on the BBC that during the Georgian War last year the Russians managed to shoot down a few of their own planes.

PM

Least: At about 1.30 I got wet feet on my way to the station. The umbrella didn't help much either because the rain was going sideways.

Most: Down at a sushi train in Namba I spotted an unusually fatty item drifting through my ken. I just had to eat it - the waitress said it was kujira bacon which confirmed my suspicions - whale. 1inch of meat and 4 inches of blubber. I'm not sure if it was delicious but it gave me heartburn.

Mandai Ike to Nakamozu

AM

Least: At about 8.15 I took the bottles and cans downstairs and left them on the road. The rubbish collection process in Japan is complicated - plastics on Monday, combustibles on Tuesdays and Fridays and bottles and cans on the second and forth Thursday of the month. Most of the rubbish is incinerated.

Most: Between 8:35 and 9:10 I waded through the humidity around Mandai Ike. I walked 5 or 6 laps. I saw visored Tezukayama Queens warming up for and performing their fan-yoga - the opening fans sound like the crackle of carbines in a firing squad. I saw birds waiting for a luckless fish, a large bee, turtles loafing about, dragon flies patrolling, sparrows and starlings scavenging and crows waiting for a scrap. The old men were either fishing or simply wasting time - all were smoking.

PM

Least: I went to the ATM at our local UFJ bank. I called on the machine to give me instructions in English. It responded favourably to my request, however at a volume too high for comfort. People turned their heads.
Most: At Nakamozu, I had just finished reading a very strange letter from an obsessed student when I was summoned to the window to look at fire-engines. The fire-engines and police were attending an apparent suicide at Nakamozu Nankai station. I saw the sheet and the body bag being carried away from the tracks. Withing 20mins the trains were up and running again.

Nakamozu

AM

Least: I slept through my alarm until 10.22am. My phone was on silent.

Most: Opening a July 2008 edition of National Geographic to find a cracking article on Dinosaur fossils from Wucaiwan in China.

PM

Least: Between 3:55pm and 5.25pm I walked the steamy streets of Nakamozu delivering 3000 sheets of ECC junkmail. My walking partner Ann was incredibly adept at finding and filling letterboxes. I sweated profusely.

Most: Between about 1:40pm and 3.00pm I stumbled across 'Bend of the River' in English on BS2. Jimmy Stuart was woodenly great and Rock Hudson screamingly camp as a dandy from San Francisco. Men really are different to apples.

AMPM?

An experimental record of the most and least interesting things experienced in the am and pm of every day.

july 7 2009

AM

The least: Between 11:42am and 11:44am an old lady was browsing the refrigerated shelves at the local Family Mart for a cheap and convenient lunch. I didn't lurk long enough to find out what she settled on.

The most: At approximately 10:25am I opened my balcony door to find that it was raining despite the weather report assuring me that it was 'partly sunny'.

PM
The least: At 3.11 my train to Sakaihigashi arrived on time. It always arrives on time.

The most: At 9.48 I shared a train carriage with two Japanese bogans. Evidence of their bogan-ness includes drinking cheap beer from oversized cans and making a mess. Shockingly they even ate a snack of Everyburgers in public.