Oncoming Bicycles

Thursday 29th October 2009

AM

Least: At nearly 11:15am, I rode down to the Kohyo supermarket to buy some lunch. On the way, I groaned audibly as time and again I had to swerve to avoid oncoming and erratic cyclists. I'm not sure why, or if it's actually true, but people seem to ride on opposite sides of the footpath to where they ride on the roads. I wish that someone would make a cute cartoon about it to teach people to at least be consistent.


Most: At about 11:25am, I waded through the mothers to the fish section of the supermarket. To my joy, they had a special on sashimi. For a paltry 500 yen I bought two trays of incredibly good fish. I'm still amazed every time I buy fish at the amazing quality and price. I wish that the same situation existed in Australia.

PM

Least: Just after 8:50pm, Rosie confirmed that pizza was to be on the menu. By the time I arrived home however, a dark uncertainty hung over the ordering process. We could not find a menu anywhere. Even on the Dominos website, it was impossible to find a number to call for delivery. It seems that in Osaka they still require customers to call the specific number of each store. After a forensic look at the site we did find a number, however it seemed to be for some other service. Thankfully, they gave us a number for the Sumiyoshi branch and the evening was saved.

Most: By 10:00pm, the doorbell rang and the pizza had finally arrived. To my astonishment, the pizza boy proceeded to give me the pizza, take the money then bow continuously as he took off his at. This cartoonish display left me puzzled as to how to react. I just said thank-you and inhaled the pizza. The longer I stay here the stranger Japan and it's people seem to get.

The Deafening Roars

Wednesday 28th October 2009

AM

Least: At 10:12am, I arrived at Gakken-Nara-Tomigaoka station earlier than expected. My long trusted Hyperdia had let me down. Although it predicted my arrival at 10:26am, I was left killing time for an extra fifteen minutes in a convenience store. I suspect that Hyperdia's new look has got something to do with the problem. It no longer looks as if it was designed in 1996, but it seems a little busier in terms of what is on the screen. Maybe I didn't check a box, or maybe the site just wanted to annoy me. Next time, I'll try its competitor who's name escapes me.

Most: Just after 11:10am, I was in a classroom discussing the vagueries of world food prices with three Japanese women. The discussion soon turned to rice and about Japan's crazy agricultural policies that stifle domestic production. One woman claimed that Hokkaido rice tasted the best was was hard to come by and very expensive. She also described a rice shortage when Japan had to import rice from the Phillipines. She said that the Filipino rice tasted disgusting - I really wonder if the taste horror was true or if it was simply psychological. An interesting discussion about a bland grain.

PM

Least: At close to 5:00pm, I was hurtling through a tunnel towards Osaka. The noise inside the carriage was deafening and the air pressure swung about wildly. I wonder what went wrong in the design process, for it must really irk passengers who have to suffer the noise daily. To make matters worse, the announcements on the train were louder than the tunnel noise. The shrill voice robotically announced each station in Japanese and then in a strangly accented English. At least I'll only have to suffer this on Wednesdays.

Most: Approaching 3:00pm, I was astonished to see a mother begin breasfeeding during the class. I was even more amazed to see a second mother giving her baby a feed. It is the first time that I have seen breastfeeding in Japan, and I didn't expect to see it in class. Despite having two four year olds, two mothers and two infants in the class, the lesson went smoothly. The babies appeared to be drunk on milk and barely stirred despite the racket being made by the other kids. The Japanese reserve starts young.

At Least I'm Not Wearing a Chicken Suit

Tuesday 27th October 2009

AM

Least: I opened my eyes at 7:00am to find my phone alarm blaring at me. Through some mystery, the alarm had been set for two hours earlier than usual. By the time I drifted off to sleep, it was less than an hour to the next alarm. The tiredness from the early wake-up dogged my every hour until midnight.

Most: At about 11:30am, I rode towards the supermarket on a lunch mission. In one of the bigger gardens of a Tezukayama castle a team of gardeners were trimming a hedge and sculpting a couple of pine trees. The neatness of Japanese gardens is amazing, but so must the cost of keeping them that way. The Japanese seem to have an obsession with controlling nature, and it can be seen both in gardens and on mountainsides where tree growth has been carefully stage manages. An unconscious reaction to the uncertaintly of earthquakes perhaps.

PM

Least: At about 2:55pm, I discovered that the train to Sakaihigashi was not running. I had to reach the school before 3:30pm, so I made the crazed decision to hail a taxi. Over 2000 yen later, I arrived at work on time only to discover that the staff at the school had not bothered to set up anything for the special lesson that I had to teach. The staff member in question was actually chowing down on McDonald's in the very room where the class was to take place. Boring.

Most: Sometime after 4:15pm, after I had recovered from my rushed start to the working day, I noticed that one of the staff had dressed in a full body chicken suit. The outfit had oversized shoes to match and seemed so yellow that it lit up the room. The boss had chosen a cat costume with a red ribbon and a bell around her neck. I settled for a takoyaki headdress, then later a pretty onoffensive pirate hat. When you're in the same room as a women dressed in a chicken suit, anything seems normal.

Where does all the rain go?

Monday 26th October 2009

AM

Least: By 10:00am, I began to dread the circus which is an English school at Halloween. Despite having two costumes, I felt confident that when it came to the crunch I would stick to my English teacher in Japan costume. As I was putting the takoyaki costume into my bag, I wondered if today would herald a new low.

Most: At about 5:00am, I woke to the sound of thundering rain. It was as though someone had tipped a huge bucket on Tezukayama. A couple of hours later, when I finally rose, the rain and the water had disappeared.It seems rare to see huge pools of water gathering on the streets or even in gutters - Osaka must have some seriously good drainage. Maybe the lack of trees and hence leaves prevents blockages - a mystery.

PM

Least: At 3:55pm, I was being put under some serous peer pressure to wear a halloween costume at work. Rather than completely humiliate myself by wearing a takoyaki on my head, I chose the more subtle pirate costume. In the face of some, more elaborate costumes, I actually didn't feel that shame that I had expected. Still, it was pretty close to a new low.

Most: Between about 5:00pm and 7:00pm, a string of kids dressed in often eleaborate costumes walked thorough the door at Nakamozu. I was really surprised at the effort that most parents had gone to to dress up their kids. Highlights included the usual witches but also a devil and a fully suited racecar driver. Lots of fun if you're 5 years old!

Picnic in the Park

AM

Least: By 10:00am, I found myself lamenting the fact that I don't have two days off in a row. Today's plans included a boozy picnic in the park, however, the spectre of work on Monday seriously inhibits my involvment in merry making. Some people can tolerate arriving to work with a serious hangover, but I cannot. Work is already less than fun, so a hangover can only make mattters worse. Next year I'll lobby for two days of in succession - fingers crossed


Most: At close to 11:00am, I put into action a plan that I had literally been dreaming of for weeks. I looked underneath the malfunctioning washing machine. I soon discovered that a crucial hose was very twisted and preventing effective drainage. With a simple twist, our washing problems were solved. No longer will be ever have to sit and watch a load that's on a 48 hour cycle. Victory.

PM

Least: Between about 1:10pm and 2:20pm, I had to kill time at the south end of Nagai Park. The picnic I was attending, was delayed because of an accident on the Midosuji line and my friends were not arriving until after two. The problem with waiting in Nagai park is that it is full of strange old people who, given the chance, will happily come and talk to you, even if they don't speak English. My plan to avoid such horrors was to keep on the move like a fugitive. I rode around the park at least once, ate some of my lunch, took a photo of some red flowers (right), then hunkered down on a stone bench. The howling wind didn't make may wait any easier and I was relieved when my people finally arrived.

Most: From about 2:30pm, I sat on a blue tarpaulin and enjoyed a festive picnic at the aforementioned Nagai park. The picnic was a 'potluck' so we ended up with about sixteen square metres of delicious food. Although rain threatened, it didn't arrive until after dark and did not interfere with our revellry. The highlight was either the brief hide and seek game or when a couple of picnickers decided it was time to don my Boss's full-body Stitch constume. Laughs all round.

Snoring Myself Awake

Saturday 24th October 2009 

AM

Least: Pretty close to 10:00am, I sat on the train facing a professional looking young woman who appeared to be doing something important on her laptop. After a few minutes, I couldn't help noticing her horrible nervous habit. Every few seconds, she picked or bit at her crumbling cuticles and fingertips. With each bite, a tiny piece of skin would disappear into her mouth. Rather than being embarrassed by this habit, she seemed to revel in it one tasty morsel after another.

Most: At about 9:30am, I opened Nostromo to chip away at a few pages. Even though it is a dificult read, it is amazing that the novels location, Sulaco is completely fictional, with almost nothing historical about it. This is in stark contrast to Conrad's other novels which are steeped in his personal experience. Although, I have read Nostromo before, I don't think I gave it the time it deserves - which it a lot.

PM

Least: Sometime between 5:37pm and 6:30pm, I snored myself awake on the train home from Wakayama. I must've been asleep for about ten minutes, but I'd slipped into a deepish sleep. The last couple of weeks with the flu and the knock to the head have exhausted me and it didn't take much of the train rocking to send me into a blissful sleep. The sleep was not quite deep enough though, to insulate me from my own snoring. I shudder to think what the expert sleeping Japanese thought

Most: At nearly 7:00pm, I watched the back of my train disappear north as I stumbled up the Mikunigaoka steps in a sleepy daze. For the next ten or so minutes, I sat on the platform. This time, unlike the past five or six months, I was shivering with cold. The wind racing down the tracks had a distinct chill that reminded me of the weeks after I arrived in Osaka. The chewing gum chipper had moved underground into a sea of blackened gum.

A Cart Full of Cats

AM

Least: At 10:40am, I opened my eyes to find that most of the morning had vanished. I had half thought of getting up early for a walk, however I think last night's yakitori and beer led to deeper than deep sleep. Waking late makes special problems for AMPM because it gives little time for the least and most interesting things to happen. Maybe I'll set an alarm next time.

Most: By 11:20am, the odds that my poached eggs were going to be the highlight of my morning were rapidly increasing. With so much morning time on my hands I have been able to perefect my poaching technique. Using gas has proven much easier than struggling with electricity, and even with three burners going, blazes have been rare. The only real danger is burning the toast to a cinder while distracted. As for the poach, I allow the eggs to lay in a slightly bubbling pan undisturbed by stirring or by vinegary acids. I turn the gas off just as the toasting begins, for the heat from the grill perfectly finishes off any slightly undercooked eggs. I haven't descended into bacon yet for the health implications could be fatal.

PM

Least: Between 1:00pm and 2:30pm, I trudged around the city looking for a Halloween costume. I went to a giant shit-shop called Don Quixote which had a good range, but was dominated by sleazyly tacky maid uniforms. There were the obvious nurse uniforms, but disturbingly (but not surprisingly) there were also school uniform costumes right down to primary school. Japan's predictible bawdiness never fails to bore. I ended up choosing a semi-costume at Loft, the pictures of which will be revealed later.

Most: At about 3:00pm as I walked down the Shinsaibashi arcade, I dodged a possibly homeless man wheeling a large car filled with cardboard. Being such a common sight, this normally wouldn't rate a mention but for the number of cats that he had travelling with him. On the very top of his cart were four boxes that housed his cats which were on leads. The cats looked very relaxed and comfortable, whcih was a suprise considering that the man was also walking a dog. Japan never ceases to amaze.

The Joy of Early Mail

Thursday 22nd October 2009

AM

Least: Just after 9:00am, it became beepingly clear that the washing machine once again had to be restarted. The load of shirts and underwear had been in the wretched contraption for twenty four hours. As mentioned before, the machine has not been the same since the painters made use keep it inside for three days. I think it might have something to do with the balancing system, but checking it will require the current load of black clothes to finish washing - it could take a while.

Most: At about 10:30am, the doorbell rang. It was the mailman delivering a package from the Gold Street Boxes in Cilfton Hill. It is always exciting getting a large package, but even more so from family. The postbag contained Whittaker's Peanut Slabs, Lolly Bananas, Minties, a packet of white Tim Tams and Vegemite. Thankfully the mail also included decent toothpaste. The highlight, though was the cute card drawn by Olivia addressed to us in Japanese. The picture is now on the fridge and much of the chocolate has already been demolished. It really made our day!

PM

Least: At 2:12pm, the heat inside the train made me audibly groan. Obviously a date on a Nankai calender has passed which tells the company to put the heaters on regardless of the weather. The heat was so stifling as to remind me of the depths of summer. Hot cans of coffee have also appeared in the vending machines. Hopefully it will be cool enough to make it worth buying one.

Most: Between exactly 8:00pm and 8:40pm I spoke to a man who worked in a hotel. His English was very good and he had a much more Western outlook than most Japanese who I've spoken to. He even though whaling was now wrong. The most interesting thing he said though, was that he had seen the movie Gallipoli. I had been telling him about ANZAC day and he knew of the story and history behind it. Rather than being an Australia-phile, I think he was simply a movie buff who liked Mel Gibson's early work. Surprising.

Coughs and Cabin Attendants

Wednesday 21st Ocotober 2009

AM


Least: At 9:10am, I began coughing up the first of a series of green gobs of phlem. It seems that the end of my flu includes a hacking morning cough. My chest was loosened by a bowl of boiling hot water and Vicks Vaporub but that tickle in the middle of my lungs remains. If it's still bad in a few days, I'll risk a Japanese doctor.

Most: Close to 11:50am, Rosie stacked a pile of yellow parcels onto the lounge-room table. Since beginning her Etsy site, business has been brisk with about five sales a week. Given that the word 'vintage' is now being used to double the price of otherwise cheap goods, I think Rosie could actually beging to make money if only she'd give up her socialist pricing policy. Japan's markets are awash with old clothes and trinkets but I hope sales keep up, because otherwise, our flat will be awash too.

PM

Least: Around 5:10pm, I sat and listened to an incredibly boring monologue by an over-earnest Canadian. He lamanted that fact that people the world over don't take thier work seriously. He added that if he ever didn't put 100% into his work he would go home feeling pretty bad. I fear he has mistaken what he is doing in Japan for a real job. It is hard to imaging anyone taking English teaching in Japan seriously but incredibly, I've found one.

Most: At 6:50pm, I stepped into a room numbered nine in Umeda and sat to begin mock Airline interviews. My role was to pretend to be an Airline executive interviewing flight attendents. During my crazy Western handshakem and stern questioning about their hobbies and travels, the young women were very nervous and too conscious of posture and body language. They had all travelled abroad, mostly on homestays, and surprisingly most were also at college. After the ten interviews, I had to visit their classroom to give some feedback and make them feel great. I hope they all find jobs at ANA, and they hope that they will never have to use their English.

The Red Ribboned Rabbits

AM

Least: At just before 9:00am I accepted that my headache from yesterday's conrete - brain collision wasn't going to leave soon. After a week with a flu, the last thing I need is another headache. The worst thin, though, is the fuzzy confusion associated with the knock, I found it difficult to remember anything in real detail which made writing very tricky. Clarity is golden.

Most: At 11:40am, I walked out the front door of our apartment building (carefully ducking my head) and into the street. Across the street is a massive house, and whoever lives in it has decided to shape their two potted trees into rabbits. To add to the oddity, the leafy green rabbits are wearing red ribbons and have orange eyes, and after writing are wearing Halloween hats. As to their purpose, I can only imagine they're part of some post-modern take on Halloween, Christmas and Easter. Strange but interesting.

PM

Least: At 3:30pm, I arrived to work to find my boss doubled over with abdomen pain. She was basically incapable of movement or any basic duties. She groaned for about two hours before getting relief from another staff member from Komyioke and for obvious reasons was in no mood for conversation.I was left thinking selfishly how boring it was with no-one to talk to and no clear thoughts in my head. Groan.

Most: At nearly 10:15am, I sat down to a pasta dish made with fresh tomatoes. Despite my doubts about the Japanese tomato for sandwich purposes, the oversweet orbs make for excellent sauce. Rosie's sauce had just enough garlic and fresh basil to allow the full flavour of the riper than ripe tomatoes to grace my tastebuds. I hope Rosie records her improvised dish so it is never lost for future generations.

The Pedicure by the Pond

AM

Least: At 9:05am I woke to my alarm thinking about what halloween costume I should wear. This outrageous thought was provoked by my school's obsession with the commerical possibilities of Halloween and other hyper-American celebrations like Thanksgiving. Despite all the staff's hoopla, it is clear that the idiotic dress-up is to increase sales to children because they are the biggest and longest running cash-cow. I'm thinking something minimal, like a silly hat to minimise my regret and humiliation.


Most: At 11:20am, I dragged myself out of the house for a long overdue walk in the park. Being later in the day, most of the early morning cast had left, leaving only the drunks, some mother and child duos and the odd fisherman. In particular two old men caught my eye. One was taking photographs of ducks with his massive telephoto lense. The amazing thing though, was the the ducks seemed to be cooperating with his hobby. For nearly an hour, about a dozen ducks bobbed obediently for the camera. The second guy was on the other side of the lake and giving himself a rather disgusting pedicure. By my last lap around the park, he was carefully preening his nails and cuticles. Thank-you Mandai Ike.

PM

Least: Just after 12:20pm, I sprung downstairs on a mission to by supermarket sushi. I had felt so revived by my walk around the lake, that I nearly skipped down each flight of steps. Unfortunately, on the last flight, I leapt a little too vigorously and slammed my skull into the ceiling of the stairwell. My brain and eyes rattled for about a minute afterwards, and by the time I began pedalling my bike, I was in a dreamy state of giddiness. Although I didn't collapse in the bank queue, I've had a headache that has persisted until thirteen minutes before tomorrow's AM. According to the internet I may have a mild concussion.

Most: After 7:10am, I began a dreaded one way conversation with a drunkard. The amazing thing was that once he began rambling about the ills of his life, he couldn't stop. He was like a drunk in an American sit-com and lamented all the things that seemed to happen to him, rather than think about what he might've done to annoy others. He said a theme of his life was people wanting to fight him in bars. He didn't think it strange that the inicidents had him and booze as a common demoninator and in fact blamed it on his charisma. Incredibly, despite sometimes actually smelling like booze, he has never been fired - but I suose drunkeness is not really looked down upon in Japan. Annoying but, nevertheless more interesting that stuffing tissues.

Speakers in Lamps

Sunday 18th October 2009

AM

Least: At about 9:30am, I woke with a splitting headache from the few glasses of German  riesling that I'd had with dinner the night before. Perhaps it was the flu, or the tiredness brought on by my trip to Wakayama, but I felt as if I'd been dealt an unfair blow. The wine was from the Rhine region and tasted pretty good, however it's after-punch was simply too great and unfair.

Most: At nearly 10:30am, I began making a series of Morinaga pancakes. As usual, they looked just like they did on the box, thick and fluffy. In an otherwise painful morning, the sweetness was a welcome relief to the empty morning. I can't believe that I've finally come to love maple syrup, although the real thing is very expensive. The next, and even unhealthier step will be to mix the sweet of the pancakes with the savoury of eggs and bacon.

PM

Least: At around 2:30pm, Rosie and I rode our bikes through an arcade that was mostly closed for the day. What added to its sadness was the strange music eminating from speakers hidden in lamps. The lamps were spaced apart just enough for the bizarre childrens' singing to fade only to reappear at another part of the song. It was like a cheesy Stephen King horror movie, only slightly more boring.

Most: At close to 1:30am, I stepped into an okonmiyaki retaurant on Abeno-suji called Ponpocotei. Rosie and I had been there before and ate until bursting last time. I ordered the 'mix modanyaki' which included pork, beef, prawns, octopus and squid. It was huge and it tasted incredible. By the time I'd finished it I could barely move and was glad that I'd ridden my bike so that I could begin to work some of it off in the headwind.

When Potato Meets Chocolate

Saturday 17th October 2009

AM

Least: At 9:13am, I stepped onto my train after walking the one hundred metres necessary to alight at Mikunigaoka close to the transfer gate. To my disappointment, I noted a blue and white sticker on the windows telling me that it was a 'Mildly Airconditioned' carriage (photo pending). The air inside the train was tepid, and neither warm or cold enough to register a response from my nervous system. I can just imagine the lobby group in days gone by who hectored the Nankai Electric Railway until they agreed to include a super boring carriage for every journey forever.


大きな地図で見る

Most: Close to 9:20am, my tepid train carriage clacked across the artificial section of the Yamato river. Below, I could see the vast sandy river edge dotted with people up early for their Saturday activities. To the right were the usual radio controlled airplane group, who, every Saturday fly their electric machines in crazy loops and crazier landings. Almost under the bridge, was an oldish man practicing his chip-shots. He had dug his own sand-bunker and was squelching in its bottom hitting an orange golfball. He'll no doubt be there next week.

PM

Least: At about 12:10pm, I was reminded of the dubious nature of commercial education. My boss mentioned to me that re-sign rates for the school were really bad and that a particular student was not really enjoying learning English. I understood then, that it was my job to make her enjoy it and in turn encourage her to re-sign. I sure that, being an 11 year old, she doesn't have too much sway in her family's financial decisions. Learning English is expensive.


Most: Just after 4:00pm, I was offered the strangest snack I have yet seen in Japan. It came from a box of  Royce Potato Chip Chocolates. The snack consisted of salty potato chips with a crinkle cut, smothered in rich chocolate. Bizarrely, is was delicious and by 5:00pm I had eaten far too many. Given the appalling levels of fat contained in these delights, I contend that they should be strictly a once in a lifetime experience. I think they came from Hokkaido.

Carbonara and Chopsticks

Friday 16th October 2009

AM

Least: At about 9:35am, I was again forces to rise because of garbage responibilities to find that it was already Friday. I found it difficult to believe, despite monitoring every day, that a full week had come and gone. I could almost understand the time-fly during a routine week, however the last seven days were odd with Rosie away and the flu lurking and should've dragged. The weeks are jetting by and turning into months. With the cold weather approaching, I sometimes get hints of the smells that greeted us on arrival in February - I think it's kerosine heating - and it feels like there's been no time in between.

Most: At close to 10:00am, I depostited the big bag of garbage on the road downstairs and noticied that as usual the housewives had been up early washing the road. As I looked up the street, I could clearly see that a large patch of road outside every house had been drenched in water. I remember one student telling me it was to cool the air, and another telling me that it was to subdue dusts - but I think it's probably another neurotic habit with little purpose. It is interesting for me, being from too-dry Victoria to see people just washing water down the drain with little reason, other than to satisfy some mysterious urge to clean. Looking at some of the housewives, reminds me of elderly people who have clearly run out of chores to do - watering the road is one solution.


PM

Least: Sometime around 2:00pm, I began playing a co-operative version of the Playstation game 'Resistance 2' with the guy next door. The game looked incredibly, with excellent graphics and fantastic blood splatter. The alarming thing though was the darkness of the game made my eyes spin in such a way to make me think that I was losing control of my brain. Many of the games actually have warnings about epilepsy and I wonder if today I experienced some of the side effects of staring at a quickly moving image on a big screen. Maybe a walk in the park is safer.

Most: Just after 7:30pm, we walked with our neighbours into a local Italian restaurant called Il Bigotto. The restaurant resembled most other Italian places, except for the menus in Japanaese and the lack of Parmasean cheese. I ordered a capriccosia pizza, which was very good but for a too-thin base and the others ordered pasta which admittedly gave me slight food envy. Our food came out very slowly, one dish after the other, and it wasn't until I studied the Japanese diners eating their meal that I realised why. As each small dish of pasta arrived at the table, the Japanese would take a small portion each, then proceed to eat the morsels. They would then wait patiently for the next bowl of pasta, or a pizza to arrive then go through the same process. It was very odd to see the ritual of Japansese eating going on in an Italian restaurant, and even stranger to see that some of the guests still insisted on using chopsticks. Japanese habits die hard.

Bordem and Burritos

Thursday 15th October 2009

AM

Least: By 10:00am, I had admitted to myself that I was no longer sick enough to justify taking another day off work. This meant a morning free from pure relaxation and overshadowed by ironing and de-linting. The problem is that we are forced to wear clothes that are those of a 'professional educator'. Most of the professional educators I can think of would never waste energy on ironing, let alone de-linting and almost none of them are in Japan.

Most: At about 11:45am, I ventured up the road to the Family Mart for lunch. On my way to the onigiri section, I must've passed close to ten people thumbing manga samplers and magazines they hadn't bought yet. Approaching lunchime, the Convenience becomes a convenient library for those who can't stand eating with their workmates or simple just need to kill time. The odd thing is though, that the free-readers come from the full sprectrum of the Japanese worker - from massive panted tradesmen, to be-suited office ladies. I wonder what the Family Mart managers think.


PM

Least: At close to 7:30pm, a tear welled in my let eye as I swallowed a yawn. I wasn't sure if it was the painfully stuttering student, the boring textbook or simply the flu, but I was incredibly tired and dry. For some reason, we are not permitted to drink water while in the class-cubicle and this meant that my throat was becoming increasingly irritated. It was boring to imagine that the lack of a simple bottle of water was standing between me and a tolerable day.

Most: At about 9:30pm, I arrived home to find that Rosie had made burrito stuffs. One of the best things about eating Mexican food is that, unlike most Japanese food, it has a strong flavour. Tonight, we had vegetarian burritos with a red bean sauce, avocado, tomato, home-grown lettuce and cheese. They were delicious and I could not stop at one nor four - I think I ate five.

Pizza is the Best Medicine

Wednesday 14th October 2009

AM

Least: At 8:05am, I once again woke in a flu-ridden fog. Although I slept well, I felt as if I'd been hit by a truck and there was no question of going to work sick again. The boring this was however, that without sick days like in most other jobs, I was forced to take a day off as 'leave without pay'. I would much prefer to take a day off when I feel like a human being rather that a stinking pile of virus shells.

Most: At just after 10:00am, I felt the exhilaration of taking a day off work. Suddenly, now that my time was my own, everything I did was more enjoyable. My time was no longer overshadowed by the thought of having to shower and dress up for an evening of teaching and stuffing tissues. I also found that the simple act of doing absolutely nothing instead of worriying about the time became the most interesting and satisfying thing about the morning despite my internal battle against the flu virus.


PM

Least: By 3:00pm, the flu was really taking hold of my sanity. Wave after wave of sickness sapped the remaining daylight hours and the next thing I knew it was dark. It also dawned on me that I hadn't left the house, not even to the extent of exiting the front door to check the mail. Being housebound it about as boring as it gets, even if you're in the crazy land of Japan.


Most: At close to 8:00pm, my lobbying to order pizza had paid off and food was waiting at the door. It as amazing how much better I felt was wolfing down the fatty wheel of dough, tomato, cheese and salami. The pizza had a stronger effect that any of the ineffective treatments that  I had ingested since Saturday. It would be incredible if someone could put the power of a pizza into capsule form - as long as it retained the taste.

100 Days of AMPM

Wednesday 13th October 2009

AM

Least: As early as 7:50am, I was sure that my version of the influenza was going to dominate my day. The searing forehead, the dream-like focus and the various other symptoms, meant a day inside and questions about whether or not to go to work. Strangely, despite some minor nausea, my appetite remained and I was able to eat the well-worn breakfast of poached eggs on toast. Given that I'd felt ill since Saturday, I thought that my flu might be coming to an end, but clearly I'd thought wrong.

Most: By 11:00am, I began to realise that today's blog entry, would be the one-hundredth AMPM. I think that the blog has been a good reflection of my time in Japan - occasional highlights with quite a bit of everyday life in-between. My only regret is that I didn't start the blog earlier in my stay - some classic Japanese moments slid by without notice like the time I was mauled by numerous deer in Nara (right), or the February day when I nearly fainted in a swirl of colour on Dontomburi. I can't really think of a single highlight, but the trip to Yamanashi comes pretty close - as for the unblogged lowlight - being lost in Kyoto while snow flurries chilled our every angry misstep. Hopefully the next one-hundred days will be as full of delightful highs and crushing lows as that last  - and if I start blogging on Janglish, readers be warned that the end is nigh.


PM

Least: By 3:45pm, I was really beginning to regret my decision to go to work. During my lessons, I felt as if I was having an out of body experience and that I was watching someone else respond to the incredibly predictible grammar errors like a robot. I knew I was in a poor state after the school director told me that my face '...looked bad' - she really has a way with words.  Although I had taken some cold 'n flu capsules, they did absolutely nothing to salve my discomfort. Another blow for my already shaky belief in Japanese medicine.

Most: At about 10:10pm, I arrived to a not so lonely home. Rosie had returned from her German excursion and made my otherwise awful a great one. Her stories of the Heavy Metal and Gender conference in Cologne were interesting and funny. As it turned out, many of the academics and students were real metal fans and dressed as such during the conference. Rosie also managed to get herself into some controversy by openly criticising the outdated views of the queen-bee of 'metal studies' - for her trouble though, she got a lot of pats on the back and congratulations. Rosie's paper will be published in a book of the conference.

Fevers and Pizza

AM

Least: By 10:00am, the silence in my san-Rosie apartment was becoming too much. With a fever running my mind into madness, I wished I'd had someone to complain to. No-one in their right mind would be awake before 11:00am on a public holiday, so even complaint riddled sms messages weren't satisfactory. I settled on shouting at the pigeons and at the tear in the bin liner that let fishy juice out. I can see how isolation can drive people to madness.

Most: By 11:59pm, I looked back at my morning and found it as empty as possible for a public holiday. If I was serious, I would've at least had a hangover. The most interesting thing, unfortunately was that my cheesy phone alarm infiltrated a dream in which I was watching the moon landing from an incredibly high peak. The faux-classical music interrupted the guide just as he was saying "You can now see the vapour-trails - they're 2000 feet thick and...". I wonder what he was about to say. The alarm that robs me of sleep every morning, may also have robbed me of something interesting to write in this space.

PM

Least: Sometime after 1:00pm, I began the mind-numbing process of cleaning the house. For some reason our three-room cubby is the lintiest (the lint removing business is big in Japan) place on Earth. I'm not sure where it comes from, but I blame the previous occupants - they must've owned a lot of fleecy clothing or never vacuumed -probably both (I know who they are). Being without an effective mop, I settled on a soapy towel to clean the kitchen floor, an idea that turned out to be boring and backbreaking. The pain of cleaning briefly made me forget my raging fever but I'm still not sure which is worse.

Most: By 6:20pm, my mind was turning to pizza. After failing to understand the on-line ordering process, my eyes turned to my silver phone. The problem is that my Japanese is poor to the point that I can't really work out how to order food over the phone. The pizza-drive was strong enough though, for me to attempt a phone order from Dominos anyway. I'm sure the poor guy on the other end of the phone would've been groaning ("Oh dear, I got the foreigner") but I persisted. After some shockingly awkward pauses and flipping through the phrasebook, my conversation came to an end without an assurance of pizza. Amazingly, at 6:40pm, the pizza man arrived at the door carrying almost what I ordered - the only thing wrong was that I got a massive bottle of Coke instead of a Zero. The delivery man appeared to be asking me for a coupon, which I didn't have - so I paid through the nose. Incredible.

______________________

Food Note: For lunch, I had a meal of pre-grilled sanma from yesterday's Life Supermaket experience. I heated it up in the fish-grill and soused it in ponzu dressing. The result was delicious and little different from the ones I bought fresh and cooked at home.

The Thief

AM

Least: At nearly 8:15am, I woke with an unusually sore throat. The sore throat was combined with a general feeling of fatigue and a minor headache. Clearly, the flu is stalking my cells waiting for the best time to strike. So far this year, I have been in remarkable health, which I put down to a change of job and diet. I suppose when the immune system finally crumbles the swine flu might just be the first ratbag through the door. I just hope I get all possible flus before I go to Malaysia in December.

Most: At just after 10:30am, I peered over the balcony to see an elderly woman being detained by two staff from the Drug 11 across the road. Shortly after, a bicycled policeman arrived to investigate what I assume was a medical shoplifting offence (the pharmacist was holding several boxes of medication). The police began asking questions and taking down statements, then became infuriated at the woman's apparent refusal to cooperate (see above). With the policeman yelling into her face, a police car arrived to take her away. As I watched through the iron bars from the balcony, she steadfastly resisted getting into the car, despite all the screaming and cajoling by the jacks. Finally, another police arrived and prised her from her spot and moved her closer to the car. The woman apparently thought she could talk her way out of it until she was manhandled into the back seat of the police car. Incredible and slightly sad scenes.

PM

Least: At 4:30pm, I made the mistake of visiting Life supermaket on a Sundau afternoon. There were literally hundreds of men, women and children shopping like mad in a storm of chaos. It was actually difficult to navigate without bumping into people or tripping over kids. The incredibly stupid Life theme song, being played on tape-decks scattered through the place only added to the mayhem. A valuable and boring lesson.

Most: At about 1:45pm, I once again visited my favourite conveyor sushi restaurant in Namba. Today, the place was extremely busy and I had to wait to be seated. Part of the reason for the sushi-mania was probably caused by the long weekend, the other reason was that the restaurant was offering three pieces of sushi per plate instead of two. Not one to miss out on a bargain, the locals were going bananas over the sight of  cut-price food. Today, even the whale bacon only made it around one lap before being wolfed down. As usual, I ate one plate too many - but I just had to try the sanma (file photo above)!

Travel in the Time of Tiredness

Saturday 10th October 2009

AM

Least: At close to 9:30am, I sat on the nearly full train and sat in one of the few remaining seats. In the seat facing me was a young women who clearly had an appalling hangover. My guess is that she had been out all night and had caught a morning train home. The sour smell of booze and cigarette smoke hung in the air even after she departed a few stops down the line. Thankfully she didn't vomit in my lap.

Most: Between 9:13am and about 10:40pm, I travelled my usual route to Wakayama. Today I barely noticed the trip as if I was in some sort of travel coma. As usual I listened to my iPod and read a book - this time Joseph Conrad's tricky Nostromo. Despite a quarter of an hour delay at Izumi-Sunagawa, I barely registered the usual pain of travelling so far so early. It is amazing how the brain finally gives up resisting after many months of routine - I hope it lasts.

PM

Least: By 4:40pm, I was very nearly nodding off during a lesson. A few late nights and the inking of a flu left me dizzy with sleepy bordem. I tried to doze off just a little while my student was reading the textbook. I wonder if he noticed, and I wonder whether there's some type of Zen meditation that allows me to sleep while appearing to be fully awake?

Most: After 10:00pm, the night began to get cold. This unusual feeling left me reaching for the doona, and wondering when the right time will be to put the heater on. With the onset of summer, there was a pissing contest among some expats for who could last the longest without using an airconditioner. One paticularly ernest fellow claimed to have never switched it on despite the opressive heat. I wonder if I will recieve snarls when I finally decide it's cold enough to start heating the house?

The Smells of Friday

 Friday 9th October 2009

AM

Least: At close to 9:00am, I was forced to end my slumber for the sole purpose of lugging a stinking bag of household waste down the stairs. Even though I probably could've waited another hour, I couldn't risk missing the musical blue truck. Missing a rubbish day can have dire consequences in Japan. There are no wheelie bins and rubbish that fails to make the disposal deadline must hang around the house for a few days and putting it out the night before is out of the question. A slave to rubbish.

Most: At about 9:05am, as I dumped a huge pile of garbage in the street, I once again wondered what the sickly post-typhoon smell of rotting fruit was, and why it was there. Initially, I had theorised that it may have been some elaborate after disaster dessert eaten after Melor because it smelled exactly the same as a plum that I met while eating an onigiri a few days ago. A brief look around gave me an east answer, it was all the fruit that had been blow off its branches durng the strong winds. Vaguely interesting.

PM

Least: Somewhere around 5:20pm, I detected a strange and awful odour, attacking my senses. Assuming it was just the fermenting guano pile next door I groaned and went on with my zombie-like participation in an online shoot-em-up. About five minutes later, I had a knock at the door and spoke to my neighbours who were literally being stunk out of their apartment. Despite sniffing the air like a bloodhound, I could only summise that the stench was coming from some malfunctioning factory working overtime to make up for the day off on Thursday.  Within an hour the stink had left as suddenly as it had arrived, though it left a note of rotting onions and decomposing cabbage.

Most: At about 2:20pm, I was riding my gutful of sushi home from Namba when I saw a 30-ish something man being man-handled by police into their car. Not surprisingly it was, about 100 metres from the police station in Nishinari. There seemed to be an awful lot of police patrolling the area on bicycles - maybe something was up or an important visitor was coming to town. I wonder what the man being bundled into the little police car did?

Meeting Mr Melor

Thursday 8th October 2009

AM

Least: At 8:00am, I woke to a typhoon-free morning, and to the discovery that I had had a minor nose bleed in my sleep. The little roundel of blood on my pillow suggested that I probably picked my nose in my sleep, or suffered some strange buffeting from the storm. Either way, it will be a crashing bore to wash the stain out when I finally get around to it. One of the few benefits of living alone for a week it that I can put off until Monday, what I should really do today.

Most: At about 2:00am, I was wide awake listening to the howling of typhoon Melor passing by my window. Gusts of wind seemed to be compressing our apartment block and threatening to rip out the windows. A lone pigeon had sought refuge on our kitchen window-sill and cowered a the gale as I snapped his photograph (right). I had to remove the washing and a few loose items from the balcony, but in the end the storm was a bit of a non-event. The only damage for us was a missing ribbon from a decrepit spring ornament and leaves missing from the basil plant. When I woke at 8:00am, it was cool and sunny with no sign of the terrifying winds except for some un-Japanese like rubbish on the road.

PM

Least: Between 3:45pm and 9:45pm, I did no more than 10 minutes of teaching work after most people, like their companies had cancelled their activities in fear of typhoon Melor. The rest of the five hours and fifty minutes was filled with coma inducing tasks, concocted by the busy-bee staff. When I wasn't contructing a poster or stuffing tissues, I was stringing up worn out cliches for Halloween. It seems though, that the staff took the process seriously and darted around scratching their heads and wrinkling up their noses at where to put the next tattered jack-o-lantern. Lamentably, I will probably have to find a costume for the kids' Halloween lessons. Groan.

Most: At about 9:30pm, I began to make okonomiyaki for dinner. This time, I added some dodgy slices of roast pork and tried a few tips on making the dish given to me by students. One of the tricks is not to mix the egg too much, so it retains a little of its character in the finished product. The meal was very successful, and given that I made two, I'll be able to eat the remaining okonomiyaki for my next PM meal.

Kids and Kyobashi

Wednesday 8th October 2009

AM

Least: At nearly 11:00am, I could not put the ironing off any longer. During the months that I've been an ECC drone, I think I've ironed over 150 shirts give or take a few. My strategy to combat the sheer bordem involved in the ironing process is to listen to my iPod. While it makes the job seem a little easier, I think that the task of making ironing an acceptable use of time is too great. If I had the money and time, I'd use a drycleaner.

Most: At 5:30am, I kissed Rosie goodbye as she left for an the Heavy Metal and Gender conference in Cologne. Rosie is delivering a paper about the grindcore scene in Melbourne and will be mingling with some metalled cultural studies glitterati. Despite missing her within minutes, I'm really proud of her acheivements and her bravery to travel half way around the globe to meet her colleagues. On the final night there's a Euro metal gig.  Go Rosie!!

PM

Least: at precisely 2:58pm, I board the tram at the Himematsu stop on my way to Kyobashi. To my (and other passangers) horror, the tram was crowded with no less than twenty 6-ish year old girls and a few boys of the same age. The noise and silliness were excruciating to the point that some nosey old bags decided to intervene and tell the girls to sit down. It had no effect. While the behaviour of Japanese students might be good at school under the eyes of teachers, as soon as they are alnoe, they seem as bad as any kids that I've seen. For some reason, the only kids who were sitting quietly were the boys. A 10 minute trip felt like 10 hours.

Most: At about 3:30pm, I arrived at the very busy Kyobashi station, to teeming rain from the approacing typhoon. I read somewhere tht Kyobashi was the last place in Osaka to be firebombed (above) by the Americans during the war. The raid came on the day before the war ended and killed about 250 people including primary school children. Although the Americans warned residents of the raid earlier in the week, it didn't stop innocent people being needlessly slaughtered. Ironically, upon exiting the station a miniature Statute of Liberty (right) stands watching over commuters from what is probably a love hotel.