Waiting for Quakes

AM

Least: I woke at about 8:15am to find that the special kind of up-too-early boredem was upon me. Despite my glee at not being hungover, I found little entertainment in my eggs or the morning baseball-based anime. As a last resort I began skimming through this month's edition of London Review of Books. Not surprisingly, it was packed with incredibly pretentious writing about other pretentious writers and groanworthy poetry. I could write more about the contents of the magazine but would risk becoming a crashing bore.

Most: At about 10:30am, I was looking for information about today's matsuri festival when stumbled across the earthquakes section of the Sumiyoshi-ku website. The terrifying truth is that we are living on the Uemachi Fault system and it is predicted that within the next fifty years a massive subduction quake will smash the city and liquify its soils. The preparedness guide recommends hiding under a desk or pillow during the quake and highlights that fact that if you're on the toilet it's best to stay there as it's probably the safest part of the house. Thankfully, because we are on the fourth floor, we should be safe from the predicted tsunami when the quake strikes. I just hope I'm not in the shower  or suffering from a mid-shave goatee when our shakey friend arrives.

PM

Least: Sometime arounf 12:30pm, I rescued my bike from the station and spun up to the glossily advertised Tezukayama Matsuri. I groaned as the rag-tag group of stalls came into view. Out of date toys, worn clothes, shonky homemade games and very limited food greeted my eyes. Although it was clearly a community fundraising event, I felt misled by the high quality advertising that appeared in shop windows a couple of weeks ago. One rare highlight was the talent quest - we saw a four-ish year old girl in pink do a song n dance routine. The next best choice was Bikkuri Donkey.

Most: At about 1:35pm, Rosie and I left the largely boring Tezukayama festival and wheeled down the hill to Bikkuri Donkey. We thought we'd go for a laugh and a laugh is what we got. The crazed junk-yard style building and the bizarre interior only served to make the meal that we got even more interesting. I ordered a 300g hamburg (top of menu shown right) with exactly four chips and hot mayonnaised corn served on a bed of cooked onion and topped with a typically soggy ball of shredded daikon. The vast slab of minced New Zealand beef was only dwarfed by the imposing shuttered menu that looked down on us like a sentinel. I thought the meal was on the way to being repulsive, but with the use of corn kernals, it has to be considered an incredibly Japanese dish. It is amazing what people will pay to eat if it's served in cartoonish surroundings.