Gimme an L! Gimme a V!

AM

Least: At about 9:35am, I sat sipping my too strong coffee and looked through the plants on the balcony onto the world of Ujita Auto Salon. The daily motions of the mechanics have become so familiar that I seem to no longer hear the deafening pneumatics, the monthly chanting of the company code, the amplified receptionist or the howling of the vacuum cleaner. Now that I can be pedantic over that little world, my attention shifted to the sign - in particular the one in katakana - ウジタ　アート　サロン - Ujita Ahh-to Saron. What really bothers me is the failure of those holding the levers of language matters to give the Japanese people an 'L' (and even a 'V') sound to give them a fighting chance at avoiding really bad translations - of which there are many (as can be seen in many a boring Janglish facebook album). A recent case that left me groaning was seeing the word 'DICTIONALY' stuck in letters across the window of the Daimaru in Shinsaibashi (above). It didn't need to happen.

Most: At nearly 10:45am, I had in my hands two summer fabric shirts for the painfully boring process of ironing. It struck me that despite at least a years difference between the ages of the Uniqlo  shirts, I found it impossible to tell which one was which. I've been told that Uniqlo began producing really cheap and really poor quality clothes but they've had some kind of transformation. They now produce really cheap and really indestructible shirts. Whatever exotic fabric is being used to make these business shirts seems to defy the ravages of edutainment and relentless ironing. It's lamentable that I'm recording my thoughts about fabric in the 'most' column but without a road rage incident out the front - it had to suffice.

PM

Least: At almost 3:30pm, I stood in the sun at the Himematsu tramstop and sweated into my shoes. It felt suspiciously like a four month string of similar incidents last year.As the tram arrived through the heat haze, one, then two old ladies cut in front of me to secure the seat they wanted. As I've probably groaned about earlier, the Hankai tram really brings out the worst in people.

Most: At 9:10pm, I was in the throes of trying to make a discussion about 'giving hospitality' interesting, when someone said a very interesting thing. Hidden among the endless secret codes operating without my knowledge in Japan is an unbelievably odd way of letting guests know that they're not welcome. If you ever see a bottle of household cleaner turned upside-down - you must now take it as a sign that your gracious hosts want yout to leave. Just to recap - a bottle of household turned upside down. Wow!

On the Arrival of Summer

AM

Mr Hatoyama resigned today. Today I also seem to feel the horrible Osaka summer announcing its too-long visit. The heat is here but not too strong. The towers of cumulus clouds are screaming humidity but from a distance. These signs leave me bracing for the certainty of a day in the next few weeks when sweat will begin dripping down my legs, men will be fanning themselves, ashphalts will liquify and I will be dreaming of November. Already in the last month has the heat caused me problems. A recent trip to the local dry-cleaner to rescue some suit-pants, light encrusted with sweat about the knees, turned into a massive failure of my still appalling Japanese listening and speaking skills. Was the lady doubtful of the outcome of the cleaning process or just embarrassed by the six-day turn-around time? I'll probably never know. Many officeworkers are released from the yoke of their neckties in June or July. The 'Cool Biz' concept forgives sensible summer attire in return for a twenty-eight degree airconditioning setting as a way to save energy and money. It's good idea that still hasn't had any impact on my company's idea of the suit and tie as the appropriate attire for a professional educator even in the classrooms cooled to a chilly twenty seven degrees.

PM

The undeniable lowlight of the afternoon was carrying a fridge down four stories, then another up two stories using dangerously broken English. Despite the pain in my knees and lower back, the operation was successful. Incredibly, our fridge was replaced only two and a half hours after Rosie steamrolled our landlord with a complaint about a long-dripping fridge. A boring and common problem involving frozen condensation tubes gave us the splashy joy of puddles in and around our fridge. Boring.

Bordem and Burritos

Thursday 15th October 2009

AM

Least: By 10:00am, I had admitted to myself that I was no longer sick enough to justify taking another day off work. This meant a morning free from pure relaxation and overshadowed by ironing and de-linting. The problem is that we are forced to wear clothes that are those of a 'professional educator'. Most of the professional educators I can think of would never waste energy on ironing, let alone de-linting and almost none of them are in Japan.

Most: At about 11:45am, I ventured up the road to the Family Mart for lunch. On my way to the onigiri section, I must've passed close to ten people thumbing manga samplers and magazines they hadn't bought yet. Approaching lunchime, the Convenience becomes a convenient library for those who can't stand eating with their workmates or simple just need to kill time. The odd thing is though, that the free-readers come from the full sprectrum of the Japanese worker - from massive panted tradesmen, to be-suited office ladies. I wonder what the Family Mart managers think.


PM

Least: At close to 7:30pm, a tear welled in my let eye as I swallowed a yawn. I wasn't sure if it was the painfully stuttering student, the boring textbook or simply the flu, but I was incredibly tired and dry. For some reason, we are not permitted to drink water while in the class-cubicle and this meant that my throat was becoming increasingly irritated. It was boring to imagine that the lack of a simple bottle of water was standing between me and a tolerable day.

Most: At about 9:30pm, I arrived home to find that Rosie had made burrito stuffs. One of the best things about eating Mexican food is that, unlike most Japanese food, it has a strong flavour. Tonight, we had vegetarian burritos with a red bean sauce, avocado, tomato, home-grown lettuce and cheese. They were delicious and I could not stop at one nor four - I think I ate five.