The Newspaper on the Tram

AM


Least: At 10:05am, I began the incredibly boring process of munching through 'Pasco 5' bread. It is far to thick to lend itself to an admirable meal - the toast affected layer is far too thin compared with the doughy, sugary and bland interior of massive GI. Despite rapidly depleting Vegemite supplies, I managed to mask some of the horrors of Japanese bread, but it wasn't quite enough. And to think Pasco is the best of a very bad bunch.

Most: Around 8:15am, I crept down the stairs to go on a long overdue stroll 'round the pond. In the many weeks since my last laps, the leaves had begun turning yellow, grass was crazily high, and some of the trees had been dealt some brutal pruning. As usual, there were tens of old men ambling around the path and a few people walking their over pampered dogs. For some reason, two police on bicycles were roaming the area, evidently looking for something or someone - they looked like tough characters despite the bikes. On my way home I noticed that the large white cube of a house (right) was progressing nicely, though the lift and the tiny third floor seem excessive. The owners will probably feel modest and cramped given the enormous size of the houses that stand next door.

PM

Least: By 4:50am, I was once again trapped in an impossibly small office listening to yet another sleazy teacher who seemed to think every woman or girl was at his feet. He met the usual profile of a balding nerd who, probably a geek in his home country and found himself an adonis in Japan. The appalling thing was that he thought enough of himself to bore anyone close bye. He reported with a straight face that no woman in Thailand was as hot as his Japanese girlfriend. Even more boring than the tissues I was packing.

Most: Not long after 9:35pm. I walked through Tennoji, passed several homeless guys sleeping in cardboard boxes and alighted the tram to Himematsu. Sitting on either side of me was a young woman who looked like she'd forgotton to wear pants and a man reading a sports-based newspaper. Peeking at the newspaper, I noticed that the man on my left was perusing the pornographic pages of the paper - numerous sets of breasts covered the page. Perhaps self conscious (but probably not), he flipped to a section that gave him tips about improving his golf swing then quickly fell asleep. Many of the local tabloid papers double as porno mags and men often reading them on public transport without shame. The girl sitting on my right texted on a phone with a toy hanging from it twice its' size.

The Man with the Magnets

AM

Least: At 10:15am, I began carefully poaching my eggs according to the tried and true Box method. When the crucial time for toasting arrived, I was devastated to discovered that we were breadless. Given the sensitive nature of the poaching process the only two options were to complete then eat the eggs or send them to the Osaka incinerators. The two eggs alone on the plate looked pathetic and lonely. In my panic, I had undercooked the eggs by approximately one minute.

Most: Just after 10:30am, I made a trip to Family Mart then a trip to Kohyo in search of bread. Upon arrival at Kohyo, I discovered that every overcashed housewife in Tezukayama was there. Normally, this fact and their ruthless shopping methods could only be recorded as uninteresting, however some barking piqued my curiosity. It appears that every one of the aforementioned housewives uses several cash and point-cards, one of which makes a machine bark like a puppy when scanned. An 'electronic money' dog named Happy Waon (above) specialises in point collecting and singing. His hobby is shopping. A small sign at the counter read 'Electric Money Can Be Used At This Counter'.

PM

Least: At 2:35pm, I was transported back to work and back into a very familiar routine. Everything was exactly as I'd left it. The staff, the building, the now out-of-date postings, the students, the awkward smalltalk and the lack of useful breaks. At least the sheer sameness of it all caused absolutely no stress. I'm sure it won't cause any stress for the rest of my time there.

Most: At about 9:05pm, I took my usual seat in the very last carriage of the Nankai Local at Nakamozu station. Some familiar characters were there, including the cougher in his brown suit, and the young pastry chef thumbing his latest edition of the glossy mag 'Super Patissier Book'. One stranger tended a finger wound with a tissue. Most interesting though, was an unfamiliar bloated wreck who, suffering some ailment, began placing numerous (about 30) adhesive magnets to his chest and wrists. I hope his illness wasn't serious. The tanned girl wearing her all-yellow softs didn't blink and fell asleep.

Thunder and Lightning

AM

Least: I dreamt that I was team teaching and the lesson was crashing and burning. I probably need a few more ECC free days.

Most: In the first hours of today lightning and thunder assaulted our eyes and ears. The storm seemed to be centred down at Sakai, although a few claps were very close. I stood on the balcony as it began and managed to get some photos. Some of the explosions were so bright I swear I could see the bones in my hand. Interesting!

PM

Least: At about 12:20pm I went to the local supermarket and bought some hum drum groceries. I still haven't worked out what the checkout chick was saying to me. I could only find 'Pasco 6' bread - too thick. The groceries came to about 1700yen.

Most: Between 8:25pm and about 10:45pm we met a friend of Rosie's and her brother at an 8th floor Mexican Restaurant. The food and the company were excellent. I ordered a Mango Margarita (pictured right) and got more than I bargained for. As the minutes past 10:30pm the staff began to look at their watches. We granted their wish and left.