The Joy of Early Mail

Thursday 22nd October 2009

AM

Least: Just after 9:00am, it became beepingly clear that the washing machine once again had to be restarted. The load of shirts and underwear had been in the wretched contraption for twenty four hours. As mentioned before, the machine has not been the same since the painters made use keep it inside for three days. I think it might have something to do with the balancing system, but checking it will require the current load of black clothes to finish washing - it could take a while.

Most: At about 10:30am, the doorbell rang. It was the mailman delivering a package from the Gold Street Boxes in Cilfton Hill. It is always exciting getting a large package, but even more so from family. The postbag contained Whittaker's Peanut Slabs, Lolly Bananas, Minties, a packet of white Tim Tams and Vegemite. Thankfully the mail also included decent toothpaste. The highlight, though was the cute card drawn by Olivia addressed to us in Japanese. The picture is now on the fridge and much of the chocolate has already been demolished. It really made our day!

PM

Least: At 2:12pm, the heat inside the train made me audibly groan. Obviously a date on a Nankai calender has passed which tells the company to put the heaters on regardless of the weather. The heat was so stifling as to remind me of the depths of summer. Hot cans of coffee have also appeared in the vending machines. Hopefully it will be cool enough to make it worth buying one.

Most: Between exactly 8:00pm and 8:40pm I spoke to a man who worked in a hotel. His English was very good and he had a much more Western outlook than most Japanese who I've spoken to. He even though whaling was now wrong. The most interesting thing he said though, was that he had seen the movie Gallipoli. I had been telling him about ANZAC day and he knew of the story and history behind it. Rather than being an Australia-phile, I think he was simply a movie buff who liked Mel Gibson's early work. Surprising.

The Toy at the End of the Rainbow

AM

Least: At about 9:40am, I unnecessarily purchased another can of Suntory Boss coffee. Today it was Rainbow Mountain Blend from Guatemala, and the stupid attraction was a toy car (right) sitting atop of the can. The coffee itself was rather disgusting, being too milky and too sweet for my tastes. The toy was more successful and had a pull-back motor - still it was totally pointless. Yesterday, I had bought a similar can with Luigi from Mario Bros. riding on top. Under no circumstances would I ever buy this in Australia. I think the marketing gimmick level is so high in Japan, that it has actually lowered my resistance to advertising. A small toy is now governing my spending patterns. Ouch.

Most: A few minutes after 9:30am, I dumped a huge bag of bottles and cans on the side of the road as I trudged up to the Family Mart. At the far end of the street I passed a Recycler on a bike who was crushing cans and piling them into one of two massive plastic sacks. By the time I had bought my overpriced breakfast materials and walked home, the Recycler had already rummaged through my bag and retrieved the aluminium cans. I noted with interest that he had left a steel-ish coffee can that I had foolishly bought during yesterdays AM (see above). The Recyclers are very often homeless men who pedal the streets collecting cans and selling them at repositories near Namba - given the effort and hours put into the exercise, I hope the man made some money for the day.

PM

Least: Between exactly 6:20pm and 7:50pm I was subjected to a most cruel torture. I sat in the same room as a student who couldn't help repeating parts of a sentence four or five times before getting it almost right. A number of times he began the five-cycle again even after finishing a sentence successfully. One of the other victims, a train conducuctrix (read below) was visibly irritated after completing her dialogues at near natural speed. Some time into the second hour, the smells started. Breath probably. I only hope I am spared the same 80 minutes of agony next Thursday. For the record, the poor guy was tickling forty-five and still living with his parents.

Most: At exactly 5:30pm, I began talking to a Nanakai train conductor. It was interesting to hear that her favourite train was the airport express and that the Rapit-B was hard work because of all of the freeloaders trying to get home early. I couldn't help asking her about her pink and grey uniform (see one her colleagues right), which I think is very becoming. She didn't like it too much, saying that the light colours allowed the uniform to get too dirty and that her hat was far too hot in summer. She was nice, and it was a real pity that she had to suffer through the next 80 minutes as I did.

The Man with the Magnets

AM

Least: At 10:15am, I began carefully poaching my eggs according to the tried and true Box method. When the crucial time for toasting arrived, I was devastated to discovered that we were breadless. Given the sensitive nature of the poaching process the only two options were to complete then eat the eggs or send them to the Osaka incinerators. The two eggs alone on the plate looked pathetic and lonely. In my panic, I had undercooked the eggs by approximately one minute.

Most: Just after 10:30am, I made a trip to Family Mart then a trip to Kohyo in search of bread. Upon arrival at Kohyo, I discovered that every overcashed housewife in Tezukayama was there. Normally, this fact and their ruthless shopping methods could only be recorded as uninteresting, however some barking piqued my curiosity. It appears that every one of the aforementioned housewives uses several cash and point-cards, one of which makes a machine bark like a puppy when scanned. An 'electronic money' dog named Happy Waon (above) specialises in point collecting and singing. His hobby is shopping. A small sign at the counter read 'Electric Money Can Be Used At This Counter'.

PM

Least: At 2:35pm, I was transported back to work and back into a very familiar routine. Everything was exactly as I'd left it. The staff, the building, the now out-of-date postings, the students, the awkward smalltalk and the lack of useful breaks. At least the sheer sameness of it all caused absolutely no stress. I'm sure it won't cause any stress for the rest of my time there.

Most: At about 9:05pm, I took my usual seat in the very last carriage of the Nankai Local at Nakamozu station. Some familiar characters were there, including the cougher in his brown suit, and the young pastry chef thumbing his latest edition of the glossy mag 'Super Patissier Book'. One stranger tended a finger wound with a tissue. Most interesting though, was an unfamiliar bloated wreck who, suffering some ailment, began placing numerous (about 30) adhesive magnets to his chest and wrists. I hope his illness wasn't serious. The tanned girl wearing her all-yellow softs didn't blink and fell asleep.

The Shouting Van

AM

Least: Not long before 9:00am, I was dragged from my slumber by a the racket of a bespeakered van on the road below. While I cannot be sure of the shouting topic, I imagine that it was begging for unwanted electrical goods. Another shouting van asks for newspapers - I recognise this one because the volume is far lower and less cutting. Election time is going to be a shocker! The noisiest country in the world?

Most: Between about 10:20am and 10:45am, I had a hilarious time sifting through the readers' comments from the Courier Mail for my other blog. The level of hysteria, bitterness, conservatism, fear, paranoia, misinformation, barrow pedalling and thinly veiled racism is incredible. The poor spelling is another story altogether. The best comments always hang beneath stories on taxation, multicululturalism, law n order, global warming and the State government. Any comments that are thoughtful or show common sense are howled down. Comedy gold!

PM

Least: By about 3:00pm I was once again slightly lost on my way to the Hankyu-32 building in Umeda. I have never been able to get there by the same route twice. I repeated my circuitous route upon my return home.

Most: Just after 9:30pm, I reached the ground floor of the before-mentioned Hankyu-32 building in Umeda. After some tooing and froing I finally rediscovered the Midsuji subway station. The platform was filled with sweating, red-faced Tigers fans. The crushing train ride briefly quelled the flow of sweat down my chins. By the time I traipsed up to the Nankai platform in Namba, the salty flow had returned. On the train, a big 'n tall man drenched in sweat yawned into his fan. During the walk home, I saw that people had been watering the road again, and that the poodle stylist was still cutting and grooming. I arrived home to a cooked meal at approximately 10:18pm.

Never Watch TV While Poaching Eggs

AM

Least: Between precisely 9:40am and 9:52am and 10:14am and 10:34am I roasted on train platforms in Mikunigaoka and Hineno repectively. It was punishment for taking a slightly later train from Tezukayama. The ten extra minutes at home this morning was repaid three-fold by JR. As the sweat ran down my chins, I couldn't help but notice the condensed breath and sweat of luckier and cooler commuters pouring from the corner of each carriage as it flashed by the station. Another lesson.

Most: While I waited for my eggs to poach at around 8:30am, I watched an animated TV show that, as usual, involved massive monsters in combat. The interesting thing though, was the fact that the trading cards carried by every kid in Japan were built into the story. The cards were used as a means to pitch differently rated piles of steel against each other. I was thinking that this is what kids might imagine whilst doing battle for cards in the playground - cool. The poached eggs were ever so slightly over done.

PM

Least: Between 12:00pm and about 8:00pm my stomach was granted a lone onigiri, a few sugarless breathmints, a bite of weird cake and two kinds of mineral water. As soon as I arrived home, my brain told me to order a large american style pizza with a regular crust. According to the pizza-clock, I ate until 10:50pm - two slices left. Before I finished the second slice, I could feel something of a bile-rush in my stomach. After I finished the last slice of the evening, I knew I wouldn't sleep well. I didn't.

Most: Between about 8:40pm and 10ish deciding to shirk a school releated party in Sakaihigashi, I sat down for a night in to contunue my spaghetti western voyage. While the bile working overtime on the pizza, I sat for a couple of hours to watch 'A Fist Full of Dollars'. The massive body count and the cracking dialogue were just interesting enough for my brain to forget telling me that I'd eaten too much on an empty stomach.