The 365th Day

February 3rd 2010

Exactly a quarter of my 365th day in Japan was mostly spent inside a huge shopping mall in Gakken-Nara-Tomigaoka. Eighty minutes of that was completely focused on helping a 50ish year old lady translate an Australian book, 1001 Inventions that Changed the World, into Japanese. The other interesting thing about the 3rd of February is that is it Bean Throwing Ceremony day, when many Japanese literally throw beans at their houses and walls to chase out any devilish spirits that may have made themselves at home during the preceding year. In fact, on my way home, numerous beans were visible on the streets near freshly exorcised houses. Some kind of blanshish nori roll also appears to be part of the ceremony. The only real lowlight of the day was predictibly on the Hankai Tram early in the morning, when some youngish dolt decided that his rideon the rails was the perfect time to thoroughly clean his pipe with a pipe-cleaner. The smell was revolting, but not quite at alarming as the tar that kept coming out of the rosewood bowl for the length of the trip. Simply awful.

My year in Japan has been interesting, amazing in patches, delicious, frustrating, hilarious, lazy, busy and rapid. I have taught the likes of  doctors, nurses, teachers, salarymen, executives, flight attendent trainees, the unemployed, the alcoholic, train conductors, bullet train hostesses, university students, highschool kids, tiny children, the flu ridden, a law professor, a seller of knives, several Shimano employees, the ugly, the beautiful, old ladies, ancient men, man-eaters, mountain climbers, marathon runners, tea ceremony teachers, tour guides, the insane, hotel workers, a belhop, midwives, chemical engineers, steel pipe makers, scientists, programmers, rock and rollers, the tired, the asleep, Koreans, magicians, scuba divers, a crazed Placido Domingo fan, Disney lovers, kindergarten teachers, a paper bag maker, the lonely, shop girls, salesmen, mothers, unhappy wives, grandfathers, gym managers, translators, law clerks, barmen, the interesting and the incredibly boring.

As a sartorial journey, my 365 days in Japan was pretty spectacular, with the occassional and the occasionally chronic lowlight. The clear winner for expanding my palatte was fish and related fishy catches from the sea. Depsite previously enjoying the occasional tray of sushi in Australia, I found the overseasoned rice a little sickening and the range of fish irritatingly small. In Japan though, the rice is addictive and the sheer variety incredible and impossible to list properly. I've mangaged to try most things including the raw and cooked - octopus, tuna of varying fattyness, salmon, sea urchin, yellowtail, bream, scallops, oysters, numerous roes, mackerel, vinegared mackeral, crab, surf clam, turban shell, raw beef, prawns, sardines and their allies, whale bacon (a moral lowpoint) and who knows what else. My sashimi highlight was a night of eating tuna in all its forms, right up to the crazily expensive tuna belly - needless to say it was also a financial lowlight. The other big surprise was my enjoyment of okonomiyaki and modanyaki both at home and in over-priced restaurants. Despite its bland ingredients, it somehow manages to be a delight, especially with a smothering on sauce and mayonnaise. In general, the food in Osaka has been spectacular and incredibly available. Even in the smallest of bars it is possible to get meals that would be impossible to replicate in Melbourne. One memorable night, I ordered the Autumn delight sanma and it was grilled before my eyes as a whole fish at a bar was big as a cupboard - outstanding. The lowlights of Japanese eating have been well-documented and they almost always involve attempts at Western food such as bread and pizza. One exception though was a simply awful udon curry which had been chilled to a teeth shattering temperature - I still shudder every time I stroll past that particular eatery.

After weeks of not writing this entry, I have finally accepted that my year in Japan boils down to food and people. Especially Rosie!

See you soon!

The Return of AMPM

Sunday 7th of December 2009

After a wildly busy November, I have finally decided to bring back AMPM as an almost daily record of my lull in Japan. Although the format is sligtly simplified, I will still attempt to write about both the moments of interest and the drudgeries of my life here.

AM

At about 11:20am, Rosie and I walked down to the station on a mission to complete our christmas shopping in one day. The highlight of the train trip was a lunatic having an apparently sensible conversation with his reflection. As I feared, the shops were packed with parents and grandparents buying gifts with as much or more fever as in Melbourne. In the sprawling Toys R Us, parents were carrying trains, puzzles, computer games, dolls and unicycles. Despite this chaos, it was the stifling heat inside which characterised my morning. Although is was chilly outside at around 10C, inside must've been approaching 30. Everytime I, walked into a shop, I had to remove my jacket, lest the sweaty memories of the Osakan summer returned. At the end of a couple of hours, the shopping was finished for another year - I just hope the parcels arrive in Australia in time.

PM

By 6:10pm, after an afternoon of wrapping gifts and dozing under the heater, I settled on my plan for the evening meal. I made a sukiyaki-style broth then added vegetables, tofu and noodles. Despite the distinct lack of meat, it was actually very successful in terms of taste. The sugar in sukiyaki, makes it completely more-ish and probably very unhealthy but it would be unthinkable to leave it out. The night was made even better by a few episodes of Battlestar Galactica which is getting almost as addictive as the sukuyaki broth. By about 10:30pm, my drowsiness was only stifled by the  constant wailing of fire sirens outside - I'm not sure exactly where they were off to, but it seemed pretty close. Deadly fires appear to be too common in Japan.

Beans and Boars in Sasayama

AM

Least: At 10:01am, I had to face the drudgery of calling in sick. The awkward conversation lasted only a few minutes, but after being put on hold a couple of times it seemed to last an hour. At least I felt much better knowing that I didn't have to work today - it's amazing what a day off can do.

Most: By 11:50am, I was speeding through the mountains with my mum, towards Sasayama, about 70km northwest of Osaka. The trees in the mountains were well on the way to their Autumn hues and the landscape was spectacular. The only downside were the long tunnels which took away the views just as quickly as they appeared. A great trip.


PM

Least: Just after 5:00pm, I was beset with a nagging headache. It could've been a lack of coffee, simple dehydration again or the towering beer that I had for lunch with my sukiyaki. Either way, it made the last leg of my journey home twice as boring as it otherwise might've been.

Most: At about 12:45pm, we arrived at the smallish town of Sasayama. After reading about the town in a local English magazine, we thought it might be a good day trip. The town had lots of small interesting shops, food stalls and the ruins of a castle that was built in 1609. The town is famed for its black beans and wild boar - many taxidermied versions of the latter adorned almost every restaurant. For lunch though, we tried the local beef and it was spectacular. As the only Europeans in town, numerous people came up to us and said hello - a really friendly and interesting town off the Lonely Planet map.

Lost in Umeda

Sunday 8th November 2009

AM

Least: At nearly 8:30am, my eyes opened to find that I had a serious hangover. The mixture of beer,chu-hi and champagne took its toll and gave me a searing headache. The shock of seeing my mother sitting on my couch last night was a sobering experience and hid the real level of drunkeness that I had attained at the takoyaki party. I just wish the reminder was a faint memory rather than a stinking headache.

Most: At 8:31am, despite my confusion and headache, it came back to me that mum had made a surprise visit and was snoring on the couch. It's weird how time seems to compress when people so familiar tunr up. It seems like yesterday, when Mum and Dad were here in February, or when I was eating roast lamb in August. I make Mum poached eggs on toast for breakfast and we ate while trying to decide what to do for the day.

PM

Least: Just after 1:00pm, I, with Rosie and Mum, was once again stumbling around, lost in Umeda trying to find the Sky Building. It is such a warren that even above ground it is almost impossible to confidently navigate the area. The problem is, that every corner looks the same and that after making any turn, any familiar landmarks immediately disappear. When I finally spotted the sky building, it was still a long walk away - they must have found some cheap land to build it on, because it's off by itself with little around it. Signs please.

Most: At about 1:20pm, as we ascended the Umeda Sky Building, Mum screamed at the glass lift rocketed up forty floors. By the time we were on the escalators that cross the building, Mum was very giddy. From the top of the tower, the familiar smog hid the horizon. Although this was my second visit to the building, the view still amazed me. The density of the city is incredibly and it seems to fill every possible area for building. Despite the agony of finding the place, it was worth the walk.

Takoyaki and Tuna

Saturday 31st October 2009

AM

Least: At 8:30am, as I packed my takoyaki costume into my back I was horrified to see that amound of hair it had extracted from my head. I'm no sure whether it is takoyaki-related heair loss or simple the accelerating onset of male-pattern baldness. One positive though, was that today would be the last time for a year that I would have to worry about a wretched costume. After five days, halloween was a crashing bore.

Most: At about 9:35am, I sat on my usual Saturday train in my usual Saturday carriage (number 7). Looking around, I saw all the usual suspects heading off to work in the sticks, but also a sixty-something salary man completely asleep in his seat. This is not unusual, however in the earlyish morning it was incredible to see how comfortable he had made himself. He had taken off his shoes and was laying tangled up on his seat with one of his be-socked perched on the window sill (see low res phone photo right). At least his slumber style guaranteed a seat to himself.

PM

Least: By 1:45pm, I was beginning to feel rage towards a temporary assistant that had been seen to my Wakayama school. She was comically officious and marched around like a woman on a mission. I think she'd forgotten that she was actually in a school full of kids trying to learning English in a fun way. The low point came when she entered my classroom to take the obligatory halloween photo and insisted on speaking in Japanese the whole time she graced our presence despite being a head trainer. This was especially galling after having to remind the kids so often that the room is English only. She was even ruder during my next class. A shocker.

Most: At about 9:00pm, Rosie and I entered a Sushi bar in a dirty street in Namba. The bar was bedecked with wrestling and sporting memorabilia with a suspicious number of celebrity autographs. The main feature of the bar was its selection of Tuna, a corpse of which was laying dismembered in a glass display cabinet. We ordered a platter of sashimi, sushi and tonkatsu of varous flavours. Upon hearing that Rosie liked tuna and tofu, the chef made a bizarre stack, which in its pinkness looked rather phallic. The food tasted incredible, epsecially the tuna sashimi of various grades and fattinesses and the beers kept appearing in front of us. When it came time to pay the bill, the chef said "ichiman, ichiman" to the cashier. The 10000yen bill was a shock and we reeled out the door unsure as to whether our extravagance was worth it. I suspect it wasn't - but the tuna was sensational.

The Battle for Bread

AM

Least: Just after 11:00pm, I listened in horror as the music of the rubbish truck faded into the distance. With no stinking bags of garbage left on the street it was clear that I had missed my chance to get rid of mine. Missing a 'household garbage' pick up can often mean having to live with a bag of food scraps and paper festering for a few days. Thankfully, in one small mercy, the tiny blue bin downstairs was empty, so I filled it.

Most: At 9:20am, I was struck by the cool temperature of the water coming out of the bathroom tap. For months, the water had been tepid enough to allow me to shave straight from the tap. I think the time has now come to return to filling the basin with warm water from the kettle and for some reason there is no hot water tap. I just want to know why they installed all the pipes in this building on the houtside with no insulation.

PM

Least: Some time around 4:00pm, Rosie and I began watching the Detroit Metal City movie based on the manga of the same name. The story centres around a young man who lives a double life between a complete dork and a crazed death metal vocalist. While the comic is very confronting, with shocking language, violence, male-male rape and treatment of women, the movie was simply painful. The shrill voices of the actors and the bad use of janglish swearing made it almost impossible to watch. In fact, I couldn't watch it any longer and had to evacuate.

Most: At close to 5:00pm, I decided to salve my pain from the Detroit Metal City movie by baking bread. The process was an experiment, because I was unsure as to the properties of Japanese flour and that I don't have a real oven. I chose a very basic recipe to minimise any disasters. After about and hour of kneading and rising, I shaped the dough into rolls and sent into the infernal reaches of a toaster oven (right). as I stared into to red glow, I could see the bread rising and browning, then blackening. I rescued the bread and realised that my experient had been pretty successful. We ate the bread with pasta topped by a simple tomato sauce. Another small victory in the battle for bread.

Coughs and Cabin Attendants

Wednesday 21st Ocotober 2009

AM


Least: At 9:10am, I began coughing up the first of a series of green gobs of phlem. It seems that the end of my flu includes a hacking morning cough. My chest was loosened by a bowl of boiling hot water and Vicks Vaporub but that tickle in the middle of my lungs remains. If it's still bad in a few days, I'll risk a Japanese doctor.

Most: Close to 11:50am, Rosie stacked a pile of yellow parcels onto the lounge-room table. Since beginning her Etsy site, business has been brisk with about five sales a week. Given that the word 'vintage' is now being used to double the price of otherwise cheap goods, I think Rosie could actually beging to make money if only she'd give up her socialist pricing policy. Japan's markets are awash with old clothes and trinkets but I hope sales keep up, because otherwise, our flat will be awash too.

PM

Least: Around 5:10pm, I sat and listened to an incredibly boring monologue by an over-earnest Canadian. He lamanted that fact that people the world over don't take thier work seriously. He added that if he ever didn't put 100% into his work he would go home feeling pretty bad. I fear he has mistaken what he is doing in Japan for a real job. It is hard to imaging anyone taking English teaching in Japan seriously but incredibly, I've found one.

Most: At 6:50pm, I stepped into a room numbered nine in Umeda and sat to begin mock Airline interviews. My role was to pretend to be an Airline executive interviewing flight attendents. During my crazy Western handshakem and stern questioning about their hobbies and travels, the young women were very nervous and too conscious of posture and body language. They had all travelled abroad, mostly on homestays, and surprisingly most were also at college. After the ten interviews, I had to visit their classroom to give some feedback and make them feel great. I hope they all find jobs at ANA, and they hope that they will never have to use their English.

100 Days of AMPM

Wednesday 13th October 2009

AM

Least: As early as 7:50am, I was sure that my version of the influenza was going to dominate my day. The searing forehead, the dream-like focus and the various other symptoms, meant a day inside and questions about whether or not to go to work. Strangely, despite some minor nausea, my appetite remained and I was able to eat the well-worn breakfast of poached eggs on toast. Given that I'd felt ill since Saturday, I thought that my flu might be coming to an end, but clearly I'd thought wrong.

Most: By 11:00am, I began to realise that today's blog entry, would be the one-hundredth AMPM. I think that the blog has been a good reflection of my time in Japan - occasional highlights with quite a bit of everyday life in-between. My only regret is that I didn't start the blog earlier in my stay - some classic Japanese moments slid by without notice like the time I was mauled by numerous deer in Nara (right), or the February day when I nearly fainted in a swirl of colour on Dontomburi. I can't really think of a single highlight, but the trip to Yamanashi comes pretty close - as for the unblogged lowlight - being lost in Kyoto while snow flurries chilled our every angry misstep. Hopefully the next one-hundred days will be as full of delightful highs and crushing lows as that last  - and if I start blogging on Janglish, readers be warned that the end is nigh.


PM

Least: By 3:45pm, I was really beginning to regret my decision to go to work. During my lessons, I felt as if I was having an out of body experience and that I was watching someone else respond to the incredibly predictible grammar errors like a robot. I knew I was in a poor state after the school director told me that my face '...looked bad' - she really has a way with words.  Although I had taken some cold 'n flu capsules, they did absolutely nothing to salve my discomfort. Another blow for my already shaky belief in Japanese medicine.

Most: At about 10:10pm, I arrived to a not so lonely home. Rosie had returned from her German excursion and made my otherwise awful a great one. Her stories of the Heavy Metal and Gender conference in Cologne were interesting and funny. As it turned out, many of the academics and students were real metal fans and dressed as such during the conference. Rosie also managed to get herself into some controversy by openly criticising the outdated views of the queen-bee of 'metal studies' - for her trouble though, she got a lot of pats on the back and congratulations. Rosie's paper will be published in a book of the conference.

The Monster in the Pond vs Gatchaman

AM

Least: At around 9:25am I began thanking Japan for sparing me from political advertising on TV. Although the election is big news, it it restricted to the news-ish programs. The downside however, is the rash of shouting vans that smite us from all angles. Most often, the occupants are white-gloved and waving to nobody in particular in a cartoony manner. Another sign is the clutches of men strolling the streets chanting chants and carrying yellow banners. Despite these attempts though, there seems no danger of election fever. I'm yet to speak to someone who thinks that either of the big parties will make any difference.

Most: At 10:50am, Rosie and I pedalled north towards the flea market at the Shitennoji Temple. On the way we made a very brief detour to look at the Matsumushi Zuka that apparently is still shaded by an 800 year old tree. As it turns out we were travelling up part of the Kumano Road which people have been treading for over 1000 years. Amazing, but not quite as amazing as the 5th Century burial mound near our local station or the monster that used to lurk in Mandai Ike (above) until it was banished in the 6th Century. Wow.

PM

Least: At 3:58pm, an ongoing problem with our washing machine sucked the little interest that was left out of the third hour after twelve. It's been boringly misfiring since the morning when a man in billowing pants and a do-rag appeared in our window and insisted that we move the infernal machine indoors. Three days later we shifted it back to the freshly painted balcony. The washing machine was evidently unimpressed and has been slightly less than automatic ever since. One day the incessant beeping will send it over the edge and onto the tram tracks.



Most: By about 12:10pm, my neck was being seared as we strolled around the flea market at Shitennoji. The number of stalls was vast as was the range of items for sale. Some of the more notable pieces of clutter were, ivory carvings, prehistoric stone tools, dismembered samurai armour, ancient ceramics, pipes, a flintlock gun, endless tools, buttons, cooked entrails, tiny fish and unwearable clothes. I settled on a piece of rank nostalgia - a board game depicting what we called G-Force but was called 'Kagaku ninja tai Gatchaman' in Japan. It is still in its packet complete with dice. How the game is meant to be played I'll never know.