A Cart Full of Cats

AM

Least: At 10:40am, I opened my eyes to find that most of the morning had vanished. I had half thought of getting up early for a walk, however I think last night's yakitori and beer led to deeper than deep sleep. Waking late makes special problems for AMPM because it gives little time for the least and most interesting things to happen. Maybe I'll set an alarm next time.

Most: By 11:20am, the odds that my poached eggs were going to be the highlight of my morning were rapidly increasing. With so much morning time on my hands I have been able to perefect my poaching technique. Using gas has proven much easier than struggling with electricity, and even with three burners going, blazes have been rare. The only real danger is burning the toast to a cinder while distracted. As for the poach, I allow the eggs to lay in a slightly bubbling pan undisturbed by stirring or by vinegary acids. I turn the gas off just as the toasting begins, for the heat from the grill perfectly finishes off any slightly undercooked eggs. I haven't descended into bacon yet for the health implications could be fatal.

PM

Least: Between 1:00pm and 2:30pm, I trudged around the city looking for a Halloween costume. I went to a giant shit-shop called Don Quixote which had a good range, but was dominated by sleazyly tacky maid uniforms. There were the obvious nurse uniforms, but disturbingly (but not surprisingly) there were also school uniform costumes right down to primary school. Japan's predictible bawdiness never fails to bore. I ended up choosing a semi-costume at Loft, the pictures of which will be revealed later.

Most: At about 3:00pm as I walked down the Shinsaibashi arcade, I dodged a possibly homeless man wheeling a large car filled with cardboard. Being such a common sight, this normally wouldn't rate a mention but for the number of cats that he had travelling with him. On the very top of his cart were four boxes that housed his cats which were on leads. The cats looked very relaxed and comfortable, whcih was a suprise considering that the man was also walking a dog. Japan never ceases to amaze.

The Man with the Magnets

AM

Least: At 10:15am, I began carefully poaching my eggs according to the tried and true Box method. When the crucial time for toasting arrived, I was devastated to discovered that we were breadless. Given the sensitive nature of the poaching process the only two options were to complete then eat the eggs or send them to the Osaka incinerators. The two eggs alone on the plate looked pathetic and lonely. In my panic, I had undercooked the eggs by approximately one minute.

Most: Just after 10:30am, I made a trip to Family Mart then a trip to Kohyo in search of bread. Upon arrival at Kohyo, I discovered that every overcashed housewife in Tezukayama was there. Normally, this fact and their ruthless shopping methods could only be recorded as uninteresting, however some barking piqued my curiosity. It appears that every one of the aforementioned housewives uses several cash and point-cards, one of which makes a machine bark like a puppy when scanned. An 'electronic money' dog named Happy Waon (above) specialises in point collecting and singing. His hobby is shopping. A small sign at the counter read 'Electric Money Can Be Used At This Counter'.

PM

Least: At 2:35pm, I was transported back to work and back into a very familiar routine. Everything was exactly as I'd left it. The staff, the building, the now out-of-date postings, the students, the awkward smalltalk and the lack of useful breaks. At least the sheer sameness of it all caused absolutely no stress. I'm sure it won't cause any stress for the rest of my time there.

Most: At about 9:05pm, I took my usual seat in the very last carriage of the Nankai Local at Nakamozu station. Some familiar characters were there, including the cougher in his brown suit, and the young pastry chef thumbing his latest edition of the glossy mag 'Super Patissier Book'. One stranger tended a finger wound with a tissue. Most interesting though, was an unfamiliar bloated wreck who, suffering some ailment, began placing numerous (about 30) adhesive magnets to his chest and wrists. I hope his illness wasn't serious. The tanned girl wearing her all-yellow softs didn't blink and fell asleep.

Never Watch TV While Poaching Eggs

AM

Least: Between precisely 9:40am and 9:52am and 10:14am and 10:34am I roasted on train platforms in Mikunigaoka and Hineno repectively. It was punishment for taking a slightly later train from Tezukayama. The ten extra minutes at home this morning was repaid three-fold by JR. As the sweat ran down my chins, I couldn't help but notice the condensed breath and sweat of luckier and cooler commuters pouring from the corner of each carriage as it flashed by the station. Another lesson.

Most: While I waited for my eggs to poach at around 8:30am, I watched an animated TV show that, as usual, involved massive monsters in combat. The interesting thing though, was the fact that the trading cards carried by every kid in Japan were built into the story. The cards were used as a means to pitch differently rated piles of steel against each other. I was thinking that this is what kids might imagine whilst doing battle for cards in the playground - cool. The poached eggs were ever so slightly over done.

PM

Least: Between 12:00pm and about 8:00pm my stomach was granted a lone onigiri, a few sugarless breathmints, a bite of weird cake and two kinds of mineral water. As soon as I arrived home, my brain told me to order a large american style pizza with a regular crust. According to the pizza-clock, I ate until 10:50pm - two slices left. Before I finished the second slice, I could feel something of a bile-rush in my stomach. After I finished the last slice of the evening, I knew I wouldn't sleep well. I didn't.

Most: Between about 8:40pm and 10ish deciding to shirk a school releated party in Sakaihigashi, I sat down for a night in to contunue my spaghetti western voyage. While the bile working overtime on the pizza, I sat for a couple of hours to watch 'A Fist Full of Dollars'. The massive body count and the cracking dialogue were just interesting enough for my brain to forget telling me that I'd eaten too much on an empty stomach.