"Please don't mention the airconditioner..."

AM

Least: By about 12:40am, Rosie and I had been standing in the rain outside a Family Mart in America Mura for 30 minutes. It was time to leave. Although quite drunk, I found the wettening of my clothes very disheartening. No gen X'er or Y'er seems to have the inclination to lead, so our party was stranded in the rain. I wonder how long they stood there?

Most: By 12:50am, Rosie and I skulked away to Jokerman (file photo above), just a block way from the abovementioned watery delay. The barman was drinking with his girlfriend and was soon arguing with her about buying a new air-conditioner. Despite the mad decision to keep drinking, Jokerman was great as usual. By some amazing co-incidence, the barman seems to share my musical taste. A while ago, during some 1970s Bob Dylan song, he asked - 'Do you like Brutal Truth?' Every time we visit, he plays 'Walking Corpse' as we pay the bill and say goodnight. It's like he has turned my ipod into a bar. I ate beef jerky and oily sardines. They are now adding a certain flavour to my severe hangover.

PM

Least: At 2:42pm, Rosie and I walked down the fights of stairs in an attempt to catch the next train. By risking the illegal parking at the station we could've just made it. Unfortunately our bikes weren't where we predicted. They were already at the station and had been since approximately 6:45pm yesterday. Thankfully they hadn't been taken by the local authorities to their lair for ransom. This time we were lucky. We gave up on catching the train.

Most: By 8:15pm, I was dozing to one of the only palatable shows on TV. A comedian dressed as a schoolgirl with very thick eyebrows travels the world getting into awkward and dangerous situations. Tonight she was marathon training in Kenya, chasing dust storms with a dust-based Mona Lisa and being engulfed by a swarm of bees while collecting honey. The video shows Ayako Imoto vs. various animals - see if she outruns the cheetah!

Tezukayama-Wakayama-Tezukayama-Juso-Shinsaibashi

AM

Least: Soon after 10:05am as I blurred toward Wakayama city, I concluded that the train trip was becoming the least interesting part of my morning. The scenery, the people protecting seats, the scent of the toilet, the nervous couples, the father drinking beer, the pivoting conductor, the onions hanging in the sheds, the rice paddies, the tunnels, the filthy rivers, the nationalist van, the company dormitories, the ageing express trains, the guy missing his stop and the sleeping office girls all make an appearance every Saturday and today began fading into the background static of a long commute to work.

Most: At 7:20am, I remembered that by some small miracle, it was casual day at work. The drones' clothes of suit-pants, a shirt, tie and black shoes could take a day off. At work, I felt and looked human, rather than like a lightly detailed character in a diagram of an office. I was amazed to feel such a strong change simply through a small change of routine in a country full of routines.

PM

Least: Arriving home at close to 6:30pm, it became obvious that I would have time to sit and relax for a minute. Rosie and I were scheduled to meet some acquaintances somewhere underground at 7:00pm. We found them and walked around for 40 minutes looking for a place to eat (see foodnote below).

Most: Some time around 9:40pm, we arrived at a housewarming party at a big white building, past the Mos Burger and Family Mart, past the overpass in Juso. Twenty-five or thirty people were crammed into the flat for a night of drunken revelry. My giant cans of The Premium Malts were just about empty when Rosie began waving at the bicycle police from the 9th Floor Balcony. Minutes later they were knocking on the door. I assume they told the hosts that the party was too noisy and un-Japanese. 10 minutes late were were out, crawling towards Shinsaibashi. I forgot my umbrella.

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Foodnote:


Lowlight: By pointing randomly to the menu I ordered a rice slurry, topped with a raw egg and slivers of nori. Incredibly punishing but at least it was hot.