The Surprise Part II

Saturday 7th November 2009

AM

Least: At nearly 11:00am, I sat down at work with tweny-five minutes to kill. I had arrived in Wakayama at 10:31am, a full three quarters of an hour before I have to clock in. Because of the train timetable on the JR Hanwa line, if I get a later train to attrive at 11:05am, I have to wait at least twenty minutes on the platform at Hineno. Boring - almost ads boring as discussing train timetables.

Most: At about 10:20am, as my train exited the last tunnel of my journey, I could see that the mountains were quickly changing colour. Many of the leaves of the trees have begun to turn, slowly creating a spectacular backdrop to an otherwise boring train ride. Hopefully in a couple of weeks the Autumn colours will be on full show - I'd better get some photos.


PM

Least: At just after 8:00pm, the first searing ball that I picked up for the night at the Sakai-Higashi takoyaki party rolled down my shirt-front. Given that it was drenched in delicious brown sauce, I wasn't surprising that it left a similarly delicious train down my front. It was embarrassing, though luckily I wasn't wearing a tie. By the end of the party, I was swaying with beer and looked like a complete wreck with the stain giving added effect.

Most: At nearly 11:00pm, I staggered up the stairs and opened the front door. To my absolute astonishment, my mother was sitting on the couch and had arrived earlier that evening. Given that I was completely unaware of the conspiracy, I could barely believe my eyes and had to look twice to check that it wasn't some kind of hallucination. Rosie had known for a week and kept the big secret under wraps perfectly. We celebrated with some chanpagne - what a nice surprise!

The Pedicure by the Pond

AM

Least: At 9:05am I woke to my alarm thinking about what halloween costume I should wear. This outrageous thought was provoked by my school's obsession with the commerical possibilities of Halloween and other hyper-American celebrations like Thanksgiving. Despite all the staff's hoopla, it is clear that the idiotic dress-up is to increase sales to children because they are the biggest and longest running cash-cow. I'm thinking something minimal, like a silly hat to minimise my regret and humiliation.


Most: At 11:20am, I dragged myself out of the house for a long overdue walk in the park. Being later in the day, most of the early morning cast had left, leaving only the drunks, some mother and child duos and the odd fisherman. In particular two old men caught my eye. One was taking photographs of ducks with his massive telephoto lense. The amazing thing though, was the the ducks seemed to be cooperating with his hobby. For nearly an hour, about a dozen ducks bobbed obediently for the camera. The second guy was on the other side of the lake and giving himself a rather disgusting pedicure. By my last lap around the park, he was carefully preening his nails and cuticles. Thank-you Mandai Ike.

PM

Least: Just after 12:20pm, I sprung downstairs on a mission to by supermarket sushi. I had felt so revived by my walk around the lake, that I nearly skipped down each flight of steps. Unfortunately, on the last flight, I leapt a little too vigorously and slammed my skull into the ceiling of the stairwell. My brain and eyes rattled for about a minute afterwards, and by the time I began pedalling my bike, I was in a dreamy state of giddiness. Although I didn't collapse in the bank queue, I've had a headache that has persisted until thirteen minutes before tomorrow's AM. According to the internet I may have a mild concussion.

Most: After 7:10am, I began a dreaded one way conversation with a drunkard. The amazing thing was that once he began rambling about the ills of his life, he couldn't stop. He was like a drunk in an American sit-com and lamented all the things that seemed to happen to him, rather than think about what he might've done to annoy others. He said a theme of his life was people wanting to fight him in bars. He didn't think it strange that the inicidents had him and booze as a common demoninator and in fact blamed it on his charisma. Incredibly, despite sometimes actually smelling like booze, he has never been fired - but I suose drunkeness is not really looked down upon in Japan. Annoying but, nevertheless more interesting that stuffing tissues.

The Rush of Rush Hour

AM

Least: At 9:45am, I surfaced in Kyoto after walking for several hundred metres underground in an unknown direction. The smug blandness of the shops above meant that a few minutes later, I was walking straight past my destination. By the time I asked a tissue-man the directions, I had walked seven hundred metres too far. It was not the first or second time I have been lost in Kyoto - it was the third. There is something strange about the orientation of the city that I just can't put my finger on - it's probably just me. I'm yet to love Kyoto.

Most: By 8:20am, I was being swept along with the wild Osaka rush hour (see stolen photo). Even on my local train, a constant ribbon of people walked through the train to get to the first carriage in the hope of saving a few precious seconds. By the time I reached underground the ribbon had turned into a wide black suited flood of people clopping along in their dress-shoes. Most people seemed to be in robotic mode as if they make that same dash to work every day - I'm sure they do. When I reached the Midosuji platform at Namba, thousands of people were waiting patiently in line to board the next train. Seconds after stepping into the carriage, people began pushing themselves after me and I was helplessly moving with the crush. At the first stop I only saw one person step out of the train  - four or five joined the mayhem.

PM

Least: By 5:20ish, I was trudging back through the Midosuji station beneath Namba. Although my head was down, I heard my name being called by a strangely familiar Japanese voice. It was my boss from one of my schools. Immediately after some minor pleasantries, she began piling on the pressure for me to attend a drinks party for work on Saturday night. I replied with a lot of erring and mighting then went on my way. Thankfully, I have far more interesting plans for Saturday night which will make it impossible to attend the threatened work function.

Most: Some time after 8:00pm, Rosie and I walked in to the previously mentioned T's Kitchen. We planned to stay for a single drink and a snack, however, it wasn;t long before events overwhelmed us. Just as I as emptying what I assumed would be my last beer, a middle-aged Japanese guy in the corner piped up. The first thing he said to Rosie was aimed at detecting her marital status. As it turned out, the man was a real estate agent and had to of his minoins with him. In the hour and a half that followed, we spoke to the three agents and drank more and more beer. For some reason the agents insisted on buying us sashimi. The food, though was to no avail and did not prevent the beer hitting its target with devestating accuracy. It was a long and windy trip home.

Posting Problems

AM

Least: At about 8:00am, I discovered that two of Rosie's letters had been returned from the post office. One letter did not have a valuable enough stamp to reach Australia, the other though was more baffling. The smaller than usual envelope appeared to have a chit on it explaining it didn't conform to the minimum size for a letter which seems to be 14cm by 9cm. According to Japan Post it costs more to send a smaller than average envelope - crackers. Braille letters up to three kilograms are free. This echoes an earlier incident when the presentation of novelty-shaped postcards at the post office caused all hell to break loose. It seems that everyone must confrom in Japan, even envelopes. A crashing bore.

Most: At nearly 9:30am, I was strolling around the greenery of Tezukayama when I thought I spotted a bogan. As it turned out, I was right.  Her t-shirt read "Give a dog a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a dog how to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day". I supposed that she must've been on a holiday to the Gold Coast in the recent past. Her miniature daschund had crimped fur on its ears. This bogan was far more interesting that the usual designer-clad Tezukayama Queen - it seems that boganism is a universal truth.

PM

Least: Close to 9:50pm, I boarded a JR Loop train at Kyobashi. Joining me on the first carriage, were a small group of extremely drunken men. The ringleader was holding court, sprouting what I assume was an unending stream of crap in Japanese. He did not even pause his monologue when bullying the younger members of his team. At one frightening stage he caught my eye and began muttering some rubbish about England. Thankfully, after I tilted my head to the bored commuter position he returned to his followers. They all left the train and my personal space at Tsurahashi.

Most: Beginning at exactly 8:50pm, I spoke to a freelance fashion designer for forty minutes. Her English wasn't great, but I gathered that she specialised in clothes for young women. She said that the current trend was for feminine ribbony outfits designed to drive the boys crazy. Apparently, the rag
trade has really struggled this past year with many shops selling their stock at close to cost levels. An interesting aside in an otherwise boring afternoon.

Rice Paddies and Grindcore

Saturday 22 August 2009

AM

Least: By 9:13am, I was once again stepping onto the Nankai local heading towards Mikunigaoka then Wakayama. At Mikunigaoka - the station without romanji - I was mildly rocked by the fact that I could recognise the people on the platform, the station masters and the women crowing from behind the counter of their sweets shop. This increasingly well worn path has seemingly also seared a neural pathway into my brain to ensure that there's no interesting surprises.

Most: Just after 10:00am, my train was clack clack clacking through rice paddies and market gardens. The rice had changed from a few weeks ago and was now nodding with the weight of seeds. It is somehow comforting to see the incredible uniformity of the rice crop and its perfect green -civilisation. I also noticed that a few leaves were beginning to turn yellow and orange as I got closer to Wakayama. I think that in  month or so, the scenery will be be interesting enough to take a photo of. Despite seeing the same people, smelling the same smells and hearing the same sounds on this trip every week, the landscape is different every time.

PM

Least: At about 12:35pm, I ran into the crushingly boring problem of forcing conversation out of an adult student for the next twenty minutes. We both knew that we had exhausted all available small talk and had covered the usuals - holidays (he had none), movies (he didn't watch movies), food (he was too busy to eat out). I went into autopilot and thought about my onigiri in the fridge.

Most: Some time around 11:00pm, Rosie and I blurred into Hokage in Shinsaibashi so that we could be pummelled by some Japanese grindcore. We spoke to some people in bands and a few guys who we knew from their tours to Australia. The bandroom was deep underground and the bar was even deeper. As we watched Corvus, it was interesting to see and hear a female vocalist destroy the crowd in such a male dominated scene. I took some red-soaked phone photos and caught the next band, only to be driven out by a techno-ish outfit and sheer drunkeness. It didn't help that we'd already been to Jokerman and Tee's Kitchen beforehand and that Toshi from Palm gave us extra drink cards on entry. A wild night.

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Food Note: At T's Kitchen, we stood at the bar and ordered several snackish meals including, freshly topped pizza, battered octopus, edemame, tuna sushimi and doteyaki. The last item was outstanding. The beef from the toughest and maybe unsaleable part of the beast had been cooked for hours and steeped in a sweet sweet sauce. I ordered two.