The Period of Last Times

AM

At nearly 9:00am after barely sleeping, I opened the sliding window to a cool-ish day. After the brutal summer, which locals seem to think was the hottest in memory, Autumn may just be arriving. I began to get a nagging feeling last week that I was now entering a time in which I'll be experiencing things in Japan for the last time - at least in this phase of my life. It was a nice thought, though to think that I will never again have to drip through another summer in Osaka. I may never again eat a bowl of cold soemen noodles, a drink another yuzu-laced shochu. These thoughts also have a darker tone when projected into next year. I actually imagined last week the last time the sushi conveyor delivers up a treat,  the end to the delights of kastuo tataki from the supermarket and the end of badly slicing my own sashimi. Awful thoughts.

PM

At about 2:45pm, I walked out the end of a lengthy arcade into an amazing Namba sunshower. Through the glittering (and massive) raindrops, I noticed that it was only 29 degrees. It finally felt like summer was being dismantled in readiness for the Japanese weather switch to be flicked to the Autumn setting. I took a quick photo and skulked into a popular coffee chain for a yuzu iced tea - possibly my last!

On the Arrival of Summer

AM

Mr Hatoyama resigned today. Today I also seem to feel the horrible Osaka summer announcing its too-long visit. The heat is here but not too strong. The towers of cumulus clouds are screaming humidity but from a distance. These signs leave me bracing for the certainty of a day in the next few weeks when sweat will begin dripping down my legs, men will be fanning themselves, ashphalts will liquify and I will be dreaming of November. Already in the last month has the heat caused me problems. A recent trip to the local dry-cleaner to rescue some suit-pants, light encrusted with sweat about the knees, turned into a massive failure of my still appalling Japanese listening and speaking skills. Was the lady doubtful of the outcome of the cleaning process or just embarrassed by the six-day turn-around time? I'll probably never know. Many officeworkers are released from the yoke of their neckties in June or July. The 'Cool Biz' concept forgives sensible summer attire in return for a twenty-eight degree airconditioning setting as a way to save energy and money. It's good idea that still hasn't had any impact on my company's idea of the suit and tie as the appropriate attire for a professional educator even in the classrooms cooled to a chilly twenty seven degrees.

PM

The undeniable lowlight of the afternoon was carrying a fridge down four stories, then another up two stories using dangerously broken English. Despite the pain in my knees and lower back, the operation was successful. Incredibly, our fridge was replaced only two and a half hours after Rosie steamrolled our landlord with a complaint about a long-dripping fridge. A boring and common problem involving frozen condensation tubes gave us the splashy joy of puddles in and around our fridge. Boring.

The Faint Smell of Burning Toast

AM

Since the fire on Monday, our apartment has smelt like burning toast. The mornings though, have been freezing and early on Wednesday morning, I noticed that the hills toward Mount Kongo were dusted in snow. Once again, it's as if a switch has been flipped from Autumn to Winter in an instant. Incredibly, the number of women wearing real fur seems to be in plague proportions. It is striking, how despite global opinion, Japanese people seem to be happy and confident enough to do whatever takes their fancy. Again on Wednesday morning, I read a Japan Rail travel advertisement for Tohoku that included a bowl of whale blubber soup as one of its attractions. Later the same morning, I spoke to three women about eating whale meat and they professed that it's smell made their stomachs turn - as school kids they had all been fed a steady diet of cetecean flesh for lunch. On a more boring note, this morning was essentially ruined by a trip to the immigration bureau. Although I got my three year visa smoothly, the sight of the 'crats wading through the overheated room a snails pace made my skin crawl. At least I won't have to go back for a while.

PM

The freezing gale that buffeted my trip home on Thursday night, was a crushing addition to my doldrums after finding that Brutal Truth had begun playing just as I clocked off at Nakamozu. All afternoon, I had been cold to the bone. Unusally, the school was barely heated, probably in an attempt to save money. As the year draws to a close, the business at work seems to be waning, and as a result, folding promotional flyers has again become a fixture to my days. A rare highlight on Thursday was being asked what I found embarrassing about Japan. I'm still not sure what the question actually meant, but my reply included the fact that nude bathing is reserved for oddballs in Australia. It's probably another example of Japan's collective neurosis that people are happy enough to show the world everything on the outside but nothing of their inner lives. Frustratingly fascinating.

What's That Smell?

Friday 6th November 2009

AM

Least: At about 11:50am, my senses were attacked by an intense rotten egg smell coming from outside. This is the second time that I have been grievously assaulted by this particular odour and I am yet to come up with any theories about its source. I am refraining from naming it as the fourth bad small of Japan - but another attack could just bring it into contention.

Most: At nearly 6:00am, I was woken by the simple fact that I was cold. It is amazing how quickly the morning have gotten cold. Once again it is as if the govenment has flicked a weather switch. The brutality of the summer seems to have erased the memory of cold mornings in Japan, but this morning they started coming back.

PM

Least: At nearly 11:00pm, I realized that I was a number of days behind on the AMPM blog. To save the pain of rifling through my memory for events of days gone by, I will soon have to begin taking notes. The danger is though, that I will look and feel like one of those people who annoyed my so much in Clifton Hill.

Most: At about 1:00pm, I was finally admitted into the world of the point card. After buying a smallish item of electronics at LABI I was offered, an recieved a point card. At the instruction of the staff, I inserted it into a poker-like machine and watched the pictures spin. I won a 10 yen bonus. A little disappointing, but I feel it could be the start of something big,

The Rumour

Sunday 1st November 2009

AM

Least: At nearly 10:00am, I opened my eyes to a fairly minor hangover. It was made worse by the shuddering thought of the 10000 yen food bill from last night. Luckily the money went mostly on the tuna"s belly rather than beer. Things could be worse.

Most: At about 10:25am, I checked my social networking site to find that rumours had begun in Melbourne about my plans for next year. According to the scuttlebutt, I am to return to Australia in time for the 2010 school year at my former work place. Time will tell if the rumours are true or not.

PM

Least: By 1:00pm, the beautiful morning had given way to a torrential downpour. It was amazing to look our the front window to find sheets of water washing the streets clean. Hours, later the rain continued, making going outdoors far less attractive.

Most: Sometime after 8:00pm and a delicious Thai meal, Rosie and I walked down the steps at Hokage to see several punk bands play including Melbourne's Pisschrist. The bands were mostly good, but the sheer volume of the sound system in such a small room was almost unbearable. The gig finished with Yeap from Pisschrist relentlessly crowd surfing, clearly enjoying the attention of the punters. A key highlight was one singers massive mohawk pictured right.

Meeting Mr Melor

Thursday 8th October 2009

AM

Least: At 8:00am, I woke to a typhoon-free morning, and to the discovery that I had had a minor nose bleed in my sleep. The little roundel of blood on my pillow suggested that I probably picked my nose in my sleep, or suffered some strange buffeting from the storm. Either way, it will be a crashing bore to wash the stain out when I finally get around to it. One of the few benefits of living alone for a week it that I can put off until Monday, what I should really do today.

Most: At about 2:00am, I was wide awake listening to the howling of typhoon Melor passing by my window. Gusts of wind seemed to be compressing our apartment block and threatening to rip out the windows. A lone pigeon had sought refuge on our kitchen window-sill and cowered a the gale as I snapped his photograph (right). I had to remove the washing and a few loose items from the balcony, but in the end the storm was a bit of a non-event. The only damage for us was a missing ribbon from a decrepit spring ornament and leaves missing from the basil plant. When I woke at 8:00am, it was cool and sunny with no sign of the terrifying winds except for some un-Japanese like rubbish on the road.

PM

Least: Between 3:45pm and 9:45pm, I did no more than 10 minutes of teaching work after most people, like their companies had cancelled their activities in fear of typhoon Melor. The rest of the five hours and fifty minutes was filled with coma inducing tasks, concocted by the busy-bee staff. When I wasn't contructing a poster or stuffing tissues, I was stringing up worn out cliches for Halloween. It seems though, that the staff took the process seriously and darted around scratching their heads and wrinkling up their noses at where to put the next tattered jack-o-lantern. Lamentably, I will probably have to find a costume for the kids' Halloween lessons. Groan.

Most: At about 9:30pm, I began to make okonomiyaki for dinner. This time, I added some dodgy slices of roast pork and tried a few tips on making the dish given to me by students. One of the tricks is not to mix the egg too much, so it retains a little of its character in the finished product. The meal was very successful, and given that I made two, I'll be able to eat the remaining okonomiyaki for my next PM meal.

Sunny Osaka

AM

Least: At 11:20am, I stood at the checkout at the Koyho Supermarket and listened the the unintelligible barrage of Japanese from the clerk. Although it has been nine months and a day since I arrived in this crazy land, I still have been unable to make inroads with my understanding of Japanese. If I was serious, I would take up classes. It doesn't appear that I'm all that serious.

Most: At just past 8:00am, I woke to the sun streaming through my balcony window. The day was very mild and sunny, adding up to a spectacular day. It is amazing to think that just a day or so before, the sky was falling in sheets of water washing everything not undercover. It is weather like today that makes Japan look even more incredible than it already does. Finally, some fresh clear air, after a seemingly endless and uncomfortable summer.

PM

Least: At about 2:00pm, I walked down the footpath in Den Den Town and couldn't help noticing the strange advertising that adorned most shops. The fluttering flag depicted manga-esque schoolgirls with too-sexy looks on their faces. Their cartoon skirts were just short enough to allow the artist to show the beginnings of white undershorts. A boring Japanese cliche (see similar drawing right).

Most: At nearly 1:30pm, two plates of delicious Indian food crowded our table. The naan, which were hand made in the nearby kitchen were enourmous and provided the perfect scoop for the bowl of curry next to it. It was a little bizarre being in the familiar surrounds of an Indian restaurant, but with Indian people communicating only in Japanese. They had a menu in Japanese, Hindi and English. The food was spectacular and spectacularly cheap. Another interesting experience only to be had in Japan.

Bunny and the Haircut

AM

Least: By 10:30am it was still raining. It had started last night and showed little sigh of letting up. When the weather service predicted 24mm of rain today, I thought it must be some kind of error. It seems there was no error and the day will be sodden and uncomfortable outdoors. At first the rain was a refreshing change, though after only a couple of hours, it just became dreary. At least I do not have to suffer the indignity of swimming to work.


Most: At close to 11:30am, I began reading Mr Cave's The Death of Bunny Munro. I had the feeling that readers and reviewers were holding their breath for this one, after the forest of wordy words in The Ass Saw the Angel. After having read the first few chapters, I was pleasantly surprised at the sparse writing and the fact the Cave's voice is still lurking in the characters. So far the book has mainly centred on Bunny's dirty thoughts and his philandering in Brighton. Both Brighton Rock and Kylie Minogue have been cleverly brought in as cultural reference points. I'll report back when the reading is done.

PM

Least: Just after 1:00pm, I boyishly went back to LABI in an attempt to gather G-Force (Gatchaman) figures from one of the hundred or so capsule machines on the top floor. My hopes for high for collecting 'Mark' as I dropped the coins into the first machine, but I was sorely disappointed as a character from a more obscure and hence less nostalgic cartoon rolled out. The same hopes were dashed after I lost 200 yen in the second machine. I now have two silly toys that I already have. Boring and stupid.

Most: At about 12:40pm, I walked into QB (Quick Beauty) House for a 1000 yen haircut. The flashing green light above the door indicated that I could be served immediately and I was. I was quickly sat down and interrogated in Japanese about what was to be done with my too-long hair. After some signs and some broken Japanese , the hairdresser, cut and shaved my hair quickly. When she had finished, an assistant came over to complete my cut. He trimmed the sides and used a mechanised cut-throat to remove hair from my ears and neck. It was the final part of the cut that made it a special experience. With a flick of a switch, the assistant began vacuuming my head, neck and shoulders. The result was a spectacular prickle-free head of freshly cut hair. Just a cut, but a thousand times better than Just Cuts at Melbourne Central. Gold,

The Persistence of Summer

AM

Least: At 8:55am, I woke an hour later than usual. The hour disappeared simply because I had forgotten to set my alarm back to the usual 8:00am. Sleep creep is a real danger while working strange hours in Japan. Some people sleep later and later until and 11:00am alarm seems harsh. If I'm not careful, my AM period may just evaporate altogether - then there really will be nothing to write about.

Most: At 11:20am, I careered up the street on the Impression on a lunch mission. When I wasn't thinking about how flat the tyres were becoming, I was considering the surprising strength of the sun as it pounded the back of my neck with UV rays. Despite a cool day yesterday, the whiff of a too-hot summer manages to persist. I'm hoping that this week is the last gasp of heat and that the chilly northerlies begin sooner rather than later. Again I am reminded today that the distance between the least interesting and most interesting is becoming very thin indeed.

PM

Least: Just after 9:00pm, my train pulled into Mikunigaoka station. On the platform was an old man in a Nankai uniform chipping solidified chewing gum from the ground. I have actually seen him on numerous other occasions with his scraper and atomiser of citrus solvent. Since I first noticed him, I think he had managed to clear about ten metres. I am sure that by the time he gets to the end of the platform, he will have to begin again from the other end. People often comment about how clean Japan is, however it is probably only so because poor old men like the one at Mikunigaoka have to clean it.

Most: Between 8:00pm and 8:40pm I spoke with a teacher from an agricultural high school in Sakai. Given the relentless urban sprawl, I was amazed to discover that the school has a full set of farm animals including cows, sheep and pigs and fields of grain and vegetable crops. I am still wondering where on earth they could have built such a facility in such a dense city. Maybe good earth might uncover the location.

Bogies at Nine O'Clock

Saturday 12 September 2009

AM

Least: Just after 9:30am, I boarded the JR Rapid at Mikunigaoka and sat in a seat reserved for people with ailments. This particular seat is at the rear of the carriage and is located directly above the bogies that roll the train to Wakayama. I have a faint memory of my Grandfather saying that you should never sit atop the train wheels because the ride is too rough. My half-hour experience between Mikunigaoka and Hineno proved this theory correct. I felt every bend, join and undulation of the train track, which at a glance looks futuristically smooth. As the train lurched incessantly, I was reminded of my sore neck and by the end of the trip its weakness had turned me into some kind of bobblehead. Thankfully I didn't experience nausea, despite the wild ride and the faintish smell of the toilets.

Most: At close to 8:10am, I peered out my kitchen window to see a filthy and wet pidgeon attempting to preen itself. The wetness of the pigeon told me that it was or had been raining outside. August seemed to be particularly dry and I was hoping for rain to wash summer down the drain. This morning, a constant drizzle freshened the streets, trees and gardens. Nearly an hour later, walking toward the station, I could actually smell the pine-ish fragrance of the gardens that grace the yards of the stinking rich. I also thought that the rain wold keep some of the Wakayama day-trippers off my morning train and free up some seats (see above). Thankfully, the day-trippers stayed home and I got to sit down.

PM

Least: Sometime after 5:37pm as my train left Wakayama station, I witnessed the ruthless musical chairs of the Kishuji Rapid. Because people are so desparate to sit alone, whenever a seat becomes available there is an undignified scramble to fill it. As people left the train at both Musota and Kii stations, people jumped to their feet to escape the horror of sitting next to another human being. The disappointment on people's faces when they just missed their chance at happiness was all too apparent and some of them had to return to their seats - the horror, the horror. I suppose it is forgivable given that personal in Japan is as such a premium but I'm sure that it doesn't need to be so cut-throat.

Most: Pretty close to 8:30pm, I walked into T's kitchen to relieve the agony of my hunger. After inhaling some doteyaki, octopus and several small glasses of beer, I came to the conclusion that I needed something more. A few days ago a student told me about the autumn culinary delight sanma, which is a longish silver fish a lot like a sardine which is grilled whole. T's Kitchen had one waiting for me. I pointed to the dead fish through the window of the counter and watched it grill. The final result was a very simple dish with some grated daikon and a cumquat. It was delicious and was not encumbered by the smaller bones which were edible. After my mauling, all that was left was the a cartoonish plate with the head, some stomach contents and a spine remaining. My next challenge will be to recreate the fishy experience at home in our fishgrill. Thanks T.

The Three Bad Smells of Japan

AM

Least: Sometime around 8:50am, I walked out the door for a stroll around the park carrying a large back of household rubbish. I added the bag to the mountain on the road and went on my way. About five minutes later, I discovered the third bad smell of Japan. The first is especially well documented - the stench of the drains that occasionally waft above ground to assault the senses. The second is the extreme body odour exuded by certain members of the middle management class who probably work too hard to care about armpit hygiene. My experience of the third came as I walked around the park. The smell was a complex combination of rotting park-garbage, cigarette smoke and dog piss - all baking to perfection in the morning sun. Thankfully, the second and third nose-sores are seasonal and only make and appearance in summer, leaving Japan with only one bad smell for much the rest of the year. I can live with one.

Most: At about 10:00pm as I ate my perfectly poached eggs in front of the television, I once again stumbled on the science-ish show 'The Making'. Normally, this would warrant a place in the above entry, however today something special stopped me from changing the channel in disgust. Today's episode centred on the mass production of pre-cooked, frozen okonomiyaki. The amazing thing was, that the incredibly complex machinery served only to replicate how the delicious dish is made in the restaurants. (see actual pack right) The highlight was probably the mechanical spatulae that were robotically nudging each okonomiyaki into shape as they cooked on a moving skillet. The finished product looked without fault as it was photographed, x-rayed, wrapped then snap frozen for the supermarket. On the strength of this television experience, I will buy a frozen okonomiyaki today and report back in a food note.


PM

Least: Closing in on 10:00pm, I realised that I'd blurred past Tezukayama station. I was alerted to my folly only by the sight of a Fusball complex which told me I was nearing Tengachaya station. I'm not sure if complacency, doziness or glassy-eyed boredom caused my lapse, but as my station came and went I was none the wiser. I was listening to the deceptively long 'Black Diamond Bay' by Bob Dylan at the time and perhaps those tropic isles in song took my thoughts far away from the Nankai line. Thankfully, I did not have to wait too long for the return trip.

Most: As I left the train at 10:12pm, I sensed a change in the atmosphere. For the first time in months, I felt a very faint chill in the air brought by a northerly breeze. I also noticed that the cicadas are gone, giving room for the crickets to annoy passers by. It will be interesting to see if the season changes from summer to autumn as quickly as how summer engulfed spring in June. Many locals claim that the weather has been very strange this year with oddly timed and located deluges across Japan. I actually thought it might have been wetter than it has been, with few days of rain, and few torrential downpours. The heat and humidity though have been a brutal and character-building experience that will be good to leave behind for six months.
________________________

Food Note: For lunch I tried the frozen okonomiyaki as-seen-on-tv (see actual result right). For a frozen meal it had very good texture and taste, although it was a little small. The sauce, mayonnaise, seeweed and bonito were a nice addition to the pack and did not seem affected by their frozen ordeal. I will certainly eat this again - thanks tv!

Strolling Under Jupiter

AM

Least: Close to 9:58am I woke with a feeling of exhaustion that was incommensurate with my activities of yesterday. I had planned to get up early and restart my strolls around the pond but to no avail. Perhaps my lacklustre is a result of the relentless heatwave (now waning) that is the Osakan summer, it could be diet, or the drudgery of being back at work. Either way it will make my mornings incredibly uninteresting until further notice.

Most: Sometime around 11:10am, I was once again trawling through the Courier Mail readers' comments section looking for some cracking comedy. As usual, the cranks were again out in force after the reports of the hottest day in August surfaced. But, despite temperature records being smashed all over Australia and the world, the flat-earthers still churn out the same ignorant, right-wing garbage. The paranoia, rage, fear, anti-intellectualism, parochialism, hate, stupidity, arrogance, bigotry and pig-headedness is astonishing. The comments surrounding Shapelle Corby's insanity were almost as entertaining.The Japanese version is a little too earnest - I wonder who's positing?

PM

Least: Just after 4:30pm, I suffered the degradation of undoing some incredibly boring work that I had done about a month ago. I spent and hour carefully unpicking packets of tissues from cheap plastic fans. Both the fans and the tissues were going to be put to some mysterious use in the future despite the snakebite-ish puncture wounds. Even worse, I'm bound to suffer the same dire boredem again, probably at the same place. At least the fact that I'm doing it means that someone else won't have to.

Most: Walking home from the station at 10:10pm, I revelled in the cool breeze and emptyish streets - alone except for a man picking up a fresh turd from his corgi. Above was the sky littered with artifical light from the vast city. The only point of light to break through is (apparently) the monstorous Jupiter and without the moon it is the biggest thing in the sky. With a clear sky, the night will hopefully be far cooler and far better for sleeping through.

This Week's Boring Surprise

AM

Least: At 10:37am, I once again found myself groaning at the thought of calling headquarters to learn of my shift for today. Although most Mondays usually ends in extreme boredem, there is always the chance of a horror shift with too many kids classes or an epic rail journey. Uncertainty is stressful, but it becomes boring very quickly despite the surprises.This week's boring surprise: Komyoike 3:45pm to 9:35pm.


Most:  Just after 5:24am, I unexpectedly got out of bed and took a whiff of the air outside to sample the weather. From our balcony I got a great view of the rising sun, which I thought appropriate given my current location. The sun dominated the urban sprawl and gave the usually boring concrete a pleasing orange glow. Next time I'll take a photo. Looking at todays astronomical forcasts I found that high noon with actually be at midday today and tomorrow's daylight will be two minutes shorter.

PM

Least: By 9:36pm, I was at the good end of a six hour stint underground. My tomb was also surrounded by a second-string shopping mall with muzak of muzak playing. It was like spending the afternoon in a cinema watching a movie about out-of-date wall postings. When I emerged from my burrow, the decaying concourse was dark and filled with dodgy looking loiterers.

Most: Sometime around 5:35pm, I began listening to the lamentations of a women in a loveless marriage. She had four teenage kids, a house deep in the country, a lazy spiteful husband and not many other options. Her marriage had been arranged and although she had serious doubts about her suitor, he and his mother, came to the woman's family home to ensure a yes vote. She enjoyed reading whilst lying on the floor, but lept to sit ladylike in a chair upon hearing her husband's footfalls. She said "I think he loves me". Interesting and very sad, and apparently not too uncommon.

The Death Stare in the Supermarket

AM

Least: Within an hour of 3:00am, I slumped into a white taxi for the outrageously expensive cruise from Shinsaibashi to Tezukayma. Despite my incredibly blurry state, I noticed that the driver had a small plasma TV installed on his dashboard. The screen had a deep shade so the driver could watch it at any time he chose. Without surprise, I saw that even in the early hours, it was still possible to watch insipid variety shows. I was too drunk to tell whether or not Terry Ito made an appearance.


Most: Just after rising at 11:10am, I slid open my balcony door to discover the surprise that the day was not searingly hot. A coolish breeze fluttered the washing and gave me the hint the summer might just be on the wane. The forecast still warns of above 30 degree days, yet the painful maximums are beginning to lower. Hopefully the nights will be cooler and more sleep friendly too.

PM

Least: At about 3:20pm, I squeezed into the local supermarket to buy some overpriced groceries. What made this dull experience even less interesting was the swarm of houswives blocking every isle. In the fruit section, Rosie reported seeing be-aproned women scanning  bigger-than-A3 catalogues for any bargains they may have missed. You'd think that the old bag who graced me with her death stare as I sidled up to the packing counter would've been more cheerful, given that she'd had just managed to save 23 yen. Tightarse.

Most: Just before 4:00pm, I was again intrigued by another mention of last year's Tsiolkas book 'The Slap', During my visit to Australia a few people urged me to read it and empasised its light-shining value in terms of naughties suburban Melbourne. Having not read any of the book, I settled on a debate on the First Tuesday Book Club between the usual hipster, author, journo and guests. The interesting thing about the usually uninteresting show, was the faith-like defence put up by the Australians after the Britisher dismissed the book for its soapiness. It's always warming to hear familiar suburbs or types mentioned in print, but perhaps the interest fades as soon as you live outside of the good pages of the Melways. Given the rifts and the raft of recommendations though, I'll need to give it a read. At least Hardy has removed that distracting flower from her hair.

The Art of the Japanese Barbecue

AM
Least: At about 9:15am, I woke to find that I was horrifically dehydrated and that my bag was yet to be unpacked. The plane ride, combined with too much kushikatsu left me with a tired aching head and a parched throat. The unquenchable thirst lasted over an hour and came back to haunt me in the pm part of the day.

Most: By about 11:00am, I began thinking about whether my brief trip home had affected my view of Japan. I'm not exactly sure what the change has been, but it feels like I've been reading a book and had a chance to flip between two chapters. The Australia visit has refreshed my reference point to Japan and may make it even more interesting. I feel refreshed and ready for another stint in this oddity of a land.

PM

Least: Not too long after 12:20am, Rosie and I crawled into the familiar heat of Osaka and went searching for the massive Ooizumi Koen nearish to Nakamozu. We ended up strolling down this road with no shade and a Queenslandish sun roasting our brains. We arrived at the park to meet a decaying water feature (above) and waited to meet with Rosie's Japanese colleagues. We finally met them after a sweet 30mins in the sun. By then our beer was beginning to get warm.

Most: Thankfully, by 1:30pm, our picnic-mates were setting the Japanese barbecue into motion. Charcoal was set smoldering, flammable gels were lit and fans waved to bully the fire into life. The food then was grilled like clockwork. Various meats, vegetables were seared and potatoes wrapped in Disney foil were roasted. The carefully chosen dipping sauces tipped the preferred barbecue nation status to the Japanese. Although the usual flames and manly hotplate scraping were absent, the end result gave amazing variety compared to the often meagre offerings found in Australia. And to think the Japanese look up to Australia as a high ranking barbecue culture.

The Importance of Being Idle

AM

Least: Close to 8:30am, I waded through another short chapter of Nick's And the Ass Saw the Angel. Given his admirable rant on prolix, it is easy (and uninteresting) to begin groaning at the incredible purpure of his writing. He manages to create an interesting atmosphere of disgust impending terror but it's far too self conscious. At the very least, someone should've convinced dear Nick to remove every single use of ah and may for I and my. Nothing a pair of scissors can't fix.

Most: Just after 11:15am I sat on the front verandah drinking steaming black tea in the sun. Being idle seems to be an important feature of my time in the hills. Being idle gives me a chance to persevere with wordy books, examine possible fossils, bake by the fire, digest, cook, stare blankly or simply revel in being part of an idyll. This morning, I poached, read and resisted reading more of And the Ass Saw the Angel, drank tea, fed the magpies and currawongs, spied on superb fairy wrens, looked inside an interesting stone, lit the fire and watched darkening clouds change and drift by. Ideal, but I won't even try to explain it to my more earnest, everywhere, early rising inquisitors.

PM

Least: Sometime around 2:30pm, I inadvertently glanced at some daytime television. The appalling sound capturing every rustle of clothing, every smack of lips and every boring breath took me straight back to memories of days sick at home crawling by. Today's monstrosity seemed to consist of ghosts and flashbacks. Simply awful.

Most: At about 7:15pm I began thinking about my last day in the country and my return to Osaka. This town is almost the exact opposite of my like in Tezukayama. It is cold, completely uncrowded, people only speak English, read hair is common, sashimi is unobtainable and I don't have to work strange hours. This short diversion from my life in Japan will no doubt make Osaka even more bizarre and interesting. Tomorrow back to Melbourne.

Skis. Rain. Lamb.

AM

Least: By 11:15am, my enfeebled quadriceps were screaming at the top of their voice against any further skiing. My snap decision to ski over snowboarding turned out to be a foolish one. I hadn't been skiing since about 1990 and have been largely inactive since the turn of the century. Keeping up with several school students proved to be difficult. The basic skills were there, but the strength and desire to try hard were not. Skiing in the rain was far less interesting than I had imagined. The coffee cost $4.70.

Most: As early as 10:30am it became obvious that my largely intermittent trips to the slopes had left large gaps in my awareness of snowboarding culture. When I had begun snowboarding at the end of the 1980s, I was the target of both keen interest and vitriol from skiers. Since those heady days, snowboards have become ever more symmetrical, probably shorter and relatively less expensive. The swarms of boarders now pass by unnoticed, unless the bogans aboard are causing a ruckus with snowboards or dangerous accidents. I even saw multiple offenders carrying large balls of snow onto the lift to use as ammo against their chums. How times and my levels of tolerance have changed. Helmets are ubiquitous.

PM

Least: Close to 2:00pm, the rain had really started to fall on Mt Hotham, on me, and onto the snow. The snow conditions were worsening with each new millilitre of drizzle that fell. My clothing's defences held up valiantly, but were steadily eroded by a series of wet chairlift seats and leaks around the neck area. By 2:50pm, I retreated into a steamy ski hire centre. The 'Buster Bacon' hotdog I bought at 'The Kennel' cost a sweet $6:50.

Most: Close to 7:00pm I achieved my primary goal for my trip to Australia. I was able to eat heartily from a leg of lamb roasted in an oven. Inexplicably, the Japanese haven't taken to eating lamb on a grand scale. Perhaps it's the strong delicious aroma and taste that deters them. The lamb was expertly cooked and arrived on the table with a generous cluster of roasted vegetables. It is amazing how smells and flavours trigger strong memories. Already it feels like I'd never left for Japan, although the reports of quakes and storms quickly pique the interest. I'll miss the lamb more than ever upon my return to the Far East.

Embracing Breezes and Dodging Bullets

AM

Least: Around 7:40am, I began to feel the growing dread of my workday. This may be a particularly harsh day, given that so many of my colleagues have taken a day off and started the summer holiday early. This means that there is a long overtime list for today, and that works like a sieve, leaving the most awful shifts for the likes of me. I can already hear the earnest voice on the phone reeling off the list of classes for the day. At 11:06am I dodged a bullet with a boringly straightforward shift at Umeda (see AMPM this time last week). At least it has a spectacular view.

Most: At about 7:20am this morning I opened the sliding door of my suffocating bedroom to discover a rare and refreshing breeze. For the first time this summer I was able let the wind carry the heat and the stuffiness to bother someone else. (see the god responsible above) An vaguely interesting change in the weather, after at least a month of incredible sameness. I wonder if the cool weather will eventually arrive in the same way that the heat did - as if someone flicked a giant switch from spring to summer in an instant.

PM

Least: By 12:01pm, I was seriously wondering what to do with my huge amounts of surplus daylight time. The time between morning and work is not quite long enough to do anything much Japanesy but long enough to wish I was doing something Japanesy. Watching bad cooking shows and appallingly wigged Samurai dramas has really lost its cack value. I need a new project.

Most: As it turned out, my luncheon at about 12:40pm was the most interesting event of the PM, despite the geeks speaking brilliantly about computers and Japanese girlfriends at work. Kohyo supermarket supplied me with a delight of a meal. The Katsuo Tataki was excellent - bonito sashimi lightly seared by burning grass and drenched in lemony soy sauce. The Osaka style sushi was of mackerel, but cured and pressed onto perfect rice. Although my fishy hands and breath whiffed of otters, I loafed about for the afternoon satisfied and amazed at the quality of supermarket meals. Incredible.
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Food Note:

Highlight: A lunch of Battera sushi and Katsuo Tataki from the supermarket. If no-one was watching I would've drank the ponzu dressing.

The Irony of Ironing Non-Iron Shirts

AM

Least: Between 10:40am and about 10:55am, I sweated through the ironing of three non-iron shirts. The thin, chemical fabric is supposed to breathe and allow the lucky wearer to airily breeze through the day without fear of sweat-through. Even wearing a breathier undershirt, the sweat still beads on my forearms reaching the surface layer in an instant. Sometimes, I look as though I may have been washing dishes. I'd wear a short-sleeve shirt, but with a tie, I think I look like someone who's come to fix the photocopier.

Most: Somewhere around 11:50am, I went on my almost daily stroll up to the Family Mart. Today there were two queues of tradesmen. All were in the strict uniform of a flannel do-rag and massively inflated pants. As usual they had cleaned out the refrigerated shelves of food so I settled for a tray of egg-laden sushi and inari. I completed my lunch with some red miso soup with a couple of pipi-sized clams lurking in the bottom. It will be interesting to see how many of the next 9 hours the feed will fuel me for.

PM

Least: Between 3:45pm and 8:00pm, I fell victim once again to the global financial crisis. With so many teachers around and slightly less students, doing 'light office work' can rule for hours. Today it was in Kishiwada adding promotional materials to packets of tissues. It is incredibly common to be offered tissues on the street, but incredibly uncommon to see people emptying their noses in public. The underbelly of the recession is pretty far from interesting - especially when it's happening to me.

Most: Relieved of my working duties at 9:35pm, I legged it to the station to find that I'd missed the express train to Tengachaya. The next best, and more interesting option was to board the Rapi:t B for an extra 500yen. The Rapi:t B is a very interesting and fast machine. It has the face or a 1970s anime robot and the innards of the inside of a sleazy private jet from the same decade. The internet tells me that the Nankai 5000 series were designed by an architect with the design theme 'Outdated Future' and began rolling in 1995.

Midway to Gundam

AM

Least: Thinking it was Thursday, I was mentally preparing to take the 'bottles and cans' downstairs at about 10:25am. I was crestfallen when I discovered what I already knew - that it was still Tuesday. When each day is characterised by strict timetables, it seems very easy to forget what day or week it is.

Most: I woke this morning to my vibrating phone at 9:32am. Thankfully it was just the alarm. Even more thankfully, was that I had apparently slept through the hottest part of the day. According to the hourly weather forcast, it was to be a sweet 29C at 9am then dipping below 27C from there. There is a 100% chance of rain today.

PM

Least: Standing for numerous minutes in a queue at the UFJ ATM at about 12:10pm today, it dawned on me that Japenese ATMs are far too useful. Often, a person will insert and withdraw numerous pieces of paper and currency, apparently to pay bills or squirrel away their 1yen coin collection. This can take many many minutes. The least interesting minutes of any day.

Most: Between about 1:20pm and 3:00pm then 10:25pm and 11:00pm, I sat and watched two swathes of quality TV. The first was the movie 'Midway'and the second was a Gundam episode. Both involved war and romance, both involved naval-esque strategy and both involved fighter pilot heroes and clumsy commanders. I began to wonder if Japanese cartoons served to relive and rewrite Japanese military history. I don't have any idea, but it's an interesting thought.